This is it :)

They're done.



The papers have been over for a really long time now.

It has taken me more than a month to get over the laziness and get back to writing.

I have more exams in a month but I'm not really thinking about that for now :)

The happiness and relief have sort of faded away by now.

I don't exactly know what this post is supposed to say except that I'm back!

63 days to go

2nd November is 63 days away. * I started writing this post last week*

Exams that seemed millions of years away are finally year. I figured, since they're all that I've been thinking about, I might as well blog about them.

I don't remember the last set of November exams all that well. I wish I did. Maybe it would have taken some of the pressure of, knowing that I've been through it once.

I 've made my schedule. Nothing feels better than to tick a chapter in that little red book ( Sounds slightly Communist?).

My Dad keeps telling me to take it one day at a time. I prefer it that way as well but time really seems to be flying by. And every time I start talking of all those things I want to do after November he gives me this look and tells me to think of only the exams.

There's so much to do!

I didn't imagine it would be this tough. It is tough because there' s no constant evaluation. I have no idea how I'm doing or whether I'm really on the right track.

So this is what I've decided to do. Since I am really going to be at home for the next two months I am going to take out all my exam stress on the blog.

So this blog is going to witness all that I am going to go through as the exams get nearer *shudder*

Where I've been

I haven't touched my blog in three weeks.

There's been a million things I've wanted to write. But I never actually got down to writing them.

A LOT has happened in August.

I fell in love with the Olympics and ended up watching almost every event.

I went to Mussorie and travelled in a train after some 2 years.

I got up my result and have buried the shock somewhere deep inside after shedding copious amounts of customary tears.

I'm this close to start hating college.

I didn't meet a deadline for the first time ever. That advertising project never even got started.

Some friends have found their boys while other have broken up.

I am a grand richer after Rakhi.

I just bought myself a label-maker and I'm already addicted.

I've spent a lot of time in the basement grumbling about how tough this year is!

Half my sentences begin with " After November..."

I WANT

-Grandparents who are not dead.

-More sleep.

-Less classes/projects/assignments.

-Friends who don't crib.

-Friends who'll listen to me be the Crib Queen.

-The Van.

-A clear mind in the mornings.

-Best Friends whose phones are not unreachable.

-Lots and lots of chocolates.

-To shatter a glass vase into bits.

-To see Federer win again.

-To burn something.

-Attend a Birthday Party.

-A tight hug.

-To wail like a baby.

-To have nothing to do.

-To go see a movie.

-Smile.

PANICKING & SORTING

I've always had problems staying optimistic all the time. I do try to look at the positive side of most situations but its really not that easy.

I have periods where nothing according to me is right. I turn into a monster during those moments. I have no clue how my parents bear with all the tantrums and screaming sessions. The fact that they still let me stay with them is testimony to how patient they are :)

Over the years I've tried to find ways and means to try to make these mild panic attacks pass without causing too much emotional damage to people around me.

Last night I discovered yet another effective way!

It was a perfect day. The Lakshmi Nagar trip couldn't have gone better. I found the place, reached on time and the people were all really nice. For some strange reason I had one of my major panic attacks in the evening. There was absolutely no way I was going to start third year in such a foul mood. So I:

• Arranged all my books subject wise.

• Took out all my shoes/sandals and re-arranged them, categorising them into heels and flats.

• Took out everything from the dressing table and cleaned and threw away all the useless stuff, in the process discovering the obscene number of hair bands I possess.

• I found two old pairs of spectacles, both haven't been touched in years.

• I then decided to wash a couple of my suits. OK, it was one suit but for somebody whose always used a washing machine it was a lot.

• I cleaned out the pencil box, sharpened two new pencils and found a couple of pens I could use.

• I found the college bag and tried to fit in as much as I could ( I almost sound like a five year old whose going to school for the first time).

• I looked through my cupboard and decided what to wear.

• I then ironed the clothes.

By the time I finished it was quarter to one and the feeling had passed.

Hopefully, next time a lot less cleaning and sorting will do the job.

Mumma doesn't eat Chinese

So we're sitting at the dinner table when Mumma and I tell Papa about are lunch/parlour plan. He groaned about the high parlor expenses and then:

Papa: Please tell me you're not going to Subway for lunch?

Me: What's wrong with Subway?

Papa: You guys always go there.

Mumma: So?

Papa: Pick a new place, be a little adventurous! Why not Punjabi By Nature?

Me: You want me to pay ninety bucks for a roti.

Mumma: Why would we go without you?

Papa: KFC?

Me: *stares*

Mumma: *glares*

Papa: Fortune Cookie?

Me: Mumma doesn't eat Chinese.

Mumma: Why do you always say that?

At this exact moment I stared at my mother. She hates Chinese or at least that's what I've come to believe over the last couple of years. So I tried to double check. My last memory of us as a family eating Chinese definitely has Mumma complaining about the excessive smell of garlic. We've never gone out for Chinese since then ( discounting that brilliant meal in San Francisco).

Every single time anybody suggested Chinese I shot the idea down. "Mumma doesn't eat Chinese" was repeated countless times.

I haven't once considered that my Mum didn't really hate it as much as I thought/exaggerated.

I can't believe that for so many years she's never told me this. She's been watching me increase the degree of her hatred towards Chinese every single year. Not once did I sincerely ask her whether she'd go eat Chinese. I just assumed away and as a result denied myself some great meals.

But its all out in the open now. Mumma doesn't hate Chinese. So we're going to Lemon Twist tomorrow. YAY!

I am just glad that she finally admitted it.

Lessons from Strategic Management

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
-Will Rogers

Two men were passing through a jungle. They saw a tiger at a distance. One of them immediately started running away. "No use", the other claimed,"We cannot outrun him. We are sure to be killed". The first person replied ,"I need to outrun you, not him".

THE MAKINGS OF A BRILLIANT YEAR

I am not the new year kind of person. In fact, my family hardly ever manages to stay awake till midnighton the 31st. Somehow I tend to view my years according to the academic year. Thus, my new year is approaching!

Third year starts in 2 weeks and I just HAD to write about the brilliant 2007-08 I've had.

The "No Denim" Campaign

I hated wearing jeans in first year. Thus, my first agenda for second year was to stay as far away from denim as possible. I don't know how so many people are ok with walking around in that fabric in the heat. I found that I had enough skirts to last me an entire summer! So, I'm happy to report that the campaign was a success and I plan to re-launch it on July,16.

Saloni Sood for College Vice President

I was quite surprised that she wanted to run in the first place, but I'm proud of the job she's done over the year. Managing a campaign that eventually was a success, was the highlight of the year. The hours spent over making posters, deciding the agenda, trying to stay ahead of the other candidates and getting Saloni's hair to look presentable were all worth it. I also made some great friends along the way.

I will never forget the day of the election. To actually sit there in the control room and count the votes was just scary. But then nothing beats the feeling of knowing that Saloni had actually beaten everyone hollow.

Debating and all that jazz.

JMC discovered Parliamentary Debating. After a year of trying to work out the debating scene, we finally manged to get two respectable teams. We found our own practise place near the Amphi Theatre. We sometimes also manage to get an audience. I also discovered two amazing partners. I don't think JMC-A will ever be the same again without Natasha. I loved everything about this team. How we'd scream at each other and still be ok, how Natasha successfully inserted Economic theories in EVERY debate , how Saloni unsuccessfully tried the same with Psychology, how I screamed my lungs out every single time & how we gelled as a team so well. I can't wait to get back to all of this and more. And yes, we have to find a third.

Play something Country

After years of searching I found my type of music. If it weren't for World Space I'd still be listening to Pop(not that there's anything wrong with that). I love everything about Country Music. I am at that stage right now where I love all kind of Country. I'm still developing favourites. I love the lyrics, I love the sound of the Banjo and I love that Southern twang. I am also still trying to find somebody who ALSO listens to and loves Country Music. Maybe Nashville's the place where my search will end :)

Of Birthday treats and lots of chocolate

I still remember the first day of second year. How 5 of us piled into one auto to have dessert at Big Chill. It was the best day ever. We had 7 different types of dessert at 11 in the morning. That sort of set the tone for the year. We've had some great birthday treats this year. Luckily there was one every month so we always had something to look forward to. We went everywhere from The Nirula's at Chanakya(which has now been shut) to Nathus in Bengali Market, we even experimented with Mexican at Rodeo and braved the smoke to have some great humus at Hooka! All of these treats of course ended with some great meehta :)

Of 9 in a row

January brought all of us back to reality. Nothing can prepare you for nine exams in a row, not even the fact that we had given eight consecutively last year. I think we just became numb after the first 5. Beyond those, the rest suddenly just didn't matter. The fact that it was FREEZING didn't really help us. On top of that I am not the sort of person who can stay awake night after night. By the time I reached the first Saturday I was just flipping pages by twelve. But then it's an experience we'll never forget and all of us did manage to stay alive at the end. Kashika and Kari's long due birthday treat at the end of last papers was godsend :)

Van sisters,night stays & some more bonding

I love my Van. I don't know what I would have done without them. College would be so dull without the constant gossip,teasing and giggles. We've bonded even more this year. First year was all about trying to to get to know each other. By the time we got to second year we were inseparable.

The night stays on Saloni and Susan's birthday were so much fun that I can't wait to have another one. I don't know how and why we became so close. I think it's the fact the originally we weren't really expecting anything of each other. In fact the only thing we had in common was that we're all from Noida and that we all needed transport to college.We accept that none of us is perfect. And yes, we've had our fights but somehow everything works out perfectly in the end. The discovering-each other process has been great fun. Mumma used to always tell me about how I'd find great friends inc college and I know I've found mine.

Six weeks of trauma

If 9 papers in a row weren't enough we ended up having the same 9 papers stretched out to six weeks for the university exams. It wasn't made easier by the fact that there was a 2 week holiday exactly mid way. Again I am not sure how I survived through those but I am just glad they're over. It was hard enough to have Susan and Saloni laugh at us after they finished their papers way before us. It's something that I know is going to happened again next year but I don't think we'll ever be prepared for such kind of trauma. But then again we had a great post exams celebration complete with a triple scoop hot chocolate Fudge :)

AT THIS VERY MOMENT..

11:45 a.m :

I was sitting around in office today waiting for Uncle( the office handy man) to take out a couple of files. I looked at my watch and thought of everybody I know and what they would be doing at that very moment.

Mumma's probably reading a book with a cup of coffee/Iced Tea on the side table.

Papa's glued to the laptop/phone.

Henna's giving her Accounts paper.

Saumya's getting ready for Shantiniketan.

Pooja's probably trying to wake up Eshan for the afternoon exam or convincing him to at least study something ;)

Salo's preparing for an even better day in Poland.

Susie's stuffing herself with even more Non Veg food!

Eashan's giving an Evidence paper.

Ankita's probably working really really hard in office.

Lots of other people are filling the DU common admission form.

Kashika's attending some coaching class.

Kari is in a movie hall.

And Raman's probably on the phone.

Phew! That's a LOT of things to happen at the exact same minute!

PLAY SOMETHING COUNTRY..

I love country music. I am so grateful for worldspace and channel 197. If it wern't for UpCountry I'd probably never find my kind of music.

I've managed to catch a lot of country music over th elast few months an dI've loved every single bit, some more than the others.

Its amazing how there's a song about every emotion complete with the southern twang and banjo.

So here's a list of some of my all time favorites..

Busses, cars, and airplanes leaving

Burning fumes of gasoline

And everyone is running

And I come to find a refuge in the

Easy silence that you make for me

It's okay when there's nothing more to say to me

In the peaceful quiet you create for me

And the way you keep the world at bay for me

The way you keep the world at bay

-Dixie Chicks

So I'll just keep on singing

'til I hear the whole world singing those songs about me

and who I am

songs about loving and living and good hearted women

and family and God

yeah they're all just songs about me

-Trace Adkins

Remember when old ones died and new were born

And life was changed, disassembled, rearranged

We came together, fell apart

And broke each other's hearts

Remember when

-Alan Jackson


And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life

It’s like I just stepped outside

When everything was going right

And I know just why you could not Come along with me

This was not your dream

But you always believed in me

Another winter day has come And gone away

In even Paris and Rome

And I wanna go home

-Blake Shelton

KAROL BAGH, TAKE 2

I hated it the first time. I swore to never walk the same streets again. Yet, I find myself back in Karol Bagh for the sultry summers.

I think its the work that makes all the difference. This time around I've realised why I wanted to be an accountant in the first place. There's a lot of work and a lot to learn. For the first time, I want to learn more. I finally see a purpose and an end to the tremendous amounts of paper work. The cherry on top is that I just made an entire Balance Sheet on my own :)

I've also learnt so much about professional conduct. I've found out exactly what every accountant should be like.

I don't mind the heat, I don't mind being buried under files the entire day, I don't mind making mistakes and I don't mind the 3 hours of travel every single day.

In fact, I'm loving it!

What Ifs...

I hate to think of what could have been...

Yet, every time I make a mistake I will replay the moment over and over again in my mind, trying to think of better ways of handling the situation.

In school I used to think of answers for interjections till weeks after the debate. After exams I think of better answers or even answers to questions that weren't even asked.

It's almost like I'm consoling myself. Maybe if I had acted in a different way things would have fallen into place, decisions would be made in my favour or I'd get everything I ever wanted.

I think the whole exercise is pointless yet it takes a lot of willpower to not indulge in it anymore. The futility only dawns upon me when Mumma talks the same way. What if she had had let me do law, what if I had changed school, what if I was in a different college..

I think these questions are better left unanswered. In fact there isn't actually any way of finding out and I am happy not knowing

Tagged..

Q. Last movie you saw in a theater ?
A. Darjeeling Limited. Brilliant!

Q. What book are you reading ?
A. Tolstoy's biography and Jeffrey Archer's latest.

Q. Favorite board game ?
A. Scrabble, Business

Q. Favorite magazine ?
A. Reader's Digest

Q. Favorite Smell ?
A. Rain, Rajma, Cake

Q. Favorite Sound ?
A. Mumma's laughter

Q. The worst feeling in the world ?
A. Guilt

Q. The first thing you think of/say when you wake up ?
A. What time is it?/Hi!

Q. Favorite Fast Food place ?
A. Subway

Q. Future child's name ?
A. Noor

Q. 'If I had a lot of money, I would...' Complete this sentence -
A. Buy a house in Austria

Q. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal ?
A. No.

Q. Storm - Cool or Scary ?
A. Cool when you're inside, scary when I'm driving.

Q. Favorite Drink ?
A. Mango Shake

Q. Finish this sentence - 'If I had the time, I would..'
A. Exercise!

Q. Do you eat the stems on Broccoli ?
A. Sometimes.

Q. If you could dye your hair any color, what would be your choice ?
A. Purple

Q. Favorite Sport to watch ?
A. Tennis

Q. One nice thing about the person who sent this to you ?
A. Great Listener

Q. What's under your bed ?
A. A Painting we bought from San Francisco and an anchor stitch kit

Q. Would you like to be born as yourself again ?
A. Absolutely.

Q. Morning person or Night Owl ?
A. Morning person forever

Q. Over Easy or Sunny side up ?
A. Sunny side up.

Q. Favorite place to relax ?
A. Mumma's room.

Q. Favorite Pie/Mithai ?
A. Apple Pie/Besan Ladoo, Gujia

Q. Favorite Ice Cream flavor ?
A. Chocolate

FROM HERE TO THERE

I was cleaning the study table today when I found this poem. I had first read it when I was in the ninth and fell in love with it instantly. Its been my source of my inspiration for so long.

Its hard to get from here to there

If you never get out of bed

You lie a lot to fool your friends

But you fool yourself instead.

Its harder to get from here to there

If you set your goals too high

Then nothing ever works out right

Too soon you no longer try.

But the hardest way from here to there is when

All you ever do is to count up the years &

miles to go

Then you're through before you're through

So how do you get from here to there

Well, first you must believe you can

Let no one tell you differently

Its your life & its in your hands.

Then turn your dreams into your goals

And see what you need now

To satisfy the requirements

The why, the where & now.

At first you're overwelhmed of course

There's so much you don't know

But keep your faith be strong & sure

For you do have a way to go.

Take careful steps & take them right

Take pride in each thing done

Don't look to far ahead of yourself

Just that next step to come.

Before you know it you'll be there

Your dream will then be real

And you'll be standing where I am now

Telling others how good it feels.

You'll tell them not to quit

Have faith, though its hard to bear

So, they will know it can be done

They, too, can get from here to there.

MY FAVOURITE TREE IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD!

Driving through a rain swept Delhi, I realised how over the years I've fallen in love with the Golden Shower.

I remember Mumma teaching me the name of the tree. We used to live in 28 then and the lanes used to be lined with Golden Shower trees. I used to love just staring at them for hours at an end. It's amazing how in full bloom there there isn't a single leaf on the tree!

The rain brought all of this back today. Every roundabout had a bunch of wet Golden Showers. The roads were lined with yellow flowers.

The whole ride back seemed surreal to me. Maybe its the lack of sleep....

How wrong we were about these people..

It's amazing how a 20 minute conversation brings so many things into perspective. Thanks Pooja :)

I've spent 14 years in school in 4 different sections. A majority of those years I've managed to stay with the same group of people, studied with them, screamed at them, shed tears and shared grunts ( go saumya!).

I've also managed to hold on to grudges for ( as Pooja was very kind to remind me) 8 freaking years! Its come to the point where none of us even remember what the original fight was about.
Yet, I don't speak to them even though the number of mutual friends increase day by day.

Yes, all of us have changed. We're not 12 anymore. I think it's finally time to let go.. to finally grow up *shudder*

Maybe this IS the passage of right we all need to go through before we turn 20.
So here's to new beginnings!

WHAT EXAMS DO TO ME..

I hug her but she doesn't seem to hug back.

I stare at the Act and my brain doesn't seem to react.

I switch on the TV and my head hurts.

ME= Confused and bloated :(

I am thinking of..

How the exams have a tendency to bring my blog to a standstill.

How 3.30 am is a excellent time to study.

How I 've watched Legally Blonde II thrice in the last two weeks. All for the love of DC!

The Brilliance that is Pyaasa.

How sour and bitter is an excellent combination.

Jhumpa Lahiri and her nex book :)

Eight things I'm passionate about:
Tennis
Country Music
Autobiographies
Clothes
Movies
Debating
Accounts/Tax
Schedules


Eight things I want to do before I die:
Work at the UN
Stay in Washington DC
Work full time for an NGO
Attend all Grand Slam finals and an NBA final in the same year
Raise a girl
Be part of a REALLY big family
Own a swimming pool
Attend weddings of all my best friends from school and college

Eight things I say often:
Theek hai
Essentially
Hanji
What what what?
No!
Yay!
Pretty
There's a seinfeld episode...


Eight books I've read recently:
Grace & Power
No Onions nor Garlic
Swimming Lessons & Other Short Stories
Charlie Wilson's war
Forever & Always
Aparajito
Rumi's Daughter
Whispers in the Mountains


Eight songs I could listen to forever and ever:
Travelling Soldier- Dixie Chicks
Austin- Blake Shelton
My Best Friend- Tim McGraw/Don Williams
Blue- Leanne Rimes
Stay- Sugarland
Whiskey Lullaby- Brad Paisly
Letter to me- Brad Paisly
I'd Lie- Taylor Swift


Eight things that attract me to my best friends:
Best hugs ever!
The ability to leave certain things unsaid
That sometimes its ok to cry/be cranky for no apparent reason
We love our mothers but still cant understand them
Nobody understands what the "boy" is thinking/feeling
That its ok to sometimes crave some action
That ALL our lives would be much simpler as Soap Operas
To not be ashamed after crying/shouting session

ANOTHER FAREWELL....

It seems to be the season of farewells for me. This one is for Natasha, my favourite Debating senior ever!!

I've been wanting to write this blog post to save for posterity the brilliant times we had and how much I will miss Natasha next year :(

It's so strange that it took us only two debates to get to know each other so well. It's even weirder that there will be no Natasha from next year.... I will never find her sitting under the tree outside the basement, never see her with another fat book on the second floor corridors and never hear her sarcastic remarks about the opposing teams..

So here's to you Natasha. DPM/DLOP. crazy. the best girlfriend.fellow moto user. one third of JMC A. fellow RLA/kinshuk basher. best hair. economics freak. theory of comparative advantage/learning curve. mushy love songs. non veg freak. Dwarka resident. warm hugs. Big Chill-Valentine's Day.amazing saris. fake nose studs. international economic policy at Warwick. relentless underlining.half plate Bhelpuri lover.lovely earrings. rebuttals/constructive. POI revenge taker.AFSPA/"My Father's in the Army"retort. Ayn Rand/Shantaram. purple push up secrets. paranthas & achhar. practise in 3rd?. Amphitheatre. kickass conventional debater. thrashing. Venky.almost KMC.IIT.clear.close. relationship guide. .ccd. tantra. sleeveless. deep necks ;).ardent NHRC supporter.pretty in pink. pretty in everything."this house will fall without you/will never find a replacement". wider smiles and even more tears.