On Children
Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Ashiya

In June of 2012 I first felt the power of Little People.  I don't remember the first time I saw Ashiya.  I do remember being confused whether she was a girl or a boy (short hair's very misleading).  As the winter set in, suddenly she was hanging out with us in my classroom.

Now of course she greets me with a bug fat hug around my knees and a huge smile plastered on her face.  Any change in her mood changes the mood of my entire class.  We've all fallen flat for her. 

Saturday morning she was almost in tears.  I picked her up and she held on with all her life.  After lots of questioning about why she was so low, finally she revealed that no one was playing with her :P  I almost burst out laughing.  Two minutes later she was happily running after Devika in the compound.

Her pop-ins in class elicit unparallelled excitement and it's something we all crave for the entire day.  I dread the day she's going to move to Prep and to the other side of school. 

Till then, I'm stealing her!





 

Lovely Work Days

It's strange how six months into the fellowship, I've never written a single post on an amazing day spent in school, even though there have been plenty.

Yesterday was one such day. 

Most mornings now start with a billion "good morning Didi" coming from all corners.  Now of course they all start with a big bear hug by Ashiya.  An even though she can only reach my knees, it makes me feel SO special :)

For the first time after getting back, I just sat down with the kids during lunch and chilled.  Soon most of them were around me and we were laughing and giggling on the silliest of things possible.  The feeling was indescribable.  In the whole wide world, there was no other place I'd rather be than inside class IV, National Public School, Shahdra.

As the afternoon sun streamed in, the day ended with a fun car ride with Zeenat and Rajeev.  They let me in on all the class gossip from when I'm not in class.  Perfect end to a perfect day.

The going's not been easy but it's days like this that makes me thankful for that moment exactly one year ago when I pressed that Submit button.
 

Here's to you 2013!

A brand new year.

The last seemed to last a long while.  Maybe because so much happened in just one year. 

As I sit at home, soaking the sun light filetering in, I can't help think about what I was doing this time last year.  Looking back at years gone by is fast becoming my favourite hobby (makes me sound way too old).

But yes, I have come a long way.  A long long way from DLF Cyber City.

It has been a good year, one that I will always remember.  Never have I experienced so much in one single year.  I'll remember this year for the all the people I've met.  Specially the little people, who've probably taught me more than the other way round.

I've given up making resolutions and plans for some time now. 

But I feel like I need to.  I want to start this year with a little more direction. 

Last day of holiday is as good as it gets.

24.

24 and a few days already now.

Today's been a lazy Sunday.  It's amazing how unproductive I become just at the thought of no teaching tomorrow.  All of it is going to take its toll on my Monday that's for sure.

Birthday week's done.

First birthday with the kids.  One out of two that I'm going to be spending with them.  It was a wonderful day.  But by the end of day in class, I was just too tired.  That's been the theme of the week - exhaustion.  Just one more week and then some respite.  Phew.  I honestly can't wait to get a few days of regular sleep.  There's tons of work planned for the holidays as well.  Hopefully, it wouldn't be a scramble to the finish line.

Oh but this one's about my birthday.  Every year, like most of you out there, I remember the last birthday and how different this year has been to the last.

Joy.  That was what was missing last year.  And even though my room's a mess, I haven't spoken to most of my friends in weeks, my parents thing I've completely lost it - I'm happy. 

Exhausted but happy.

Rolling wheels

This my third attempt to write in the last month.

Two titled blogposts later, here I am.

The last post seems a while back.  Much has changed.  I've fallen in love - with all 37 of them.  We laugh more in class than we used to, shout less.

The road ahead is long and winding and currently seems never ending.  But October is already here.  Time really is flying. 

Today was the first day that I didn't feel like being there at all.  I just wanted to go back home.  The exhaustion, endless days and nights and work are all beginning to catch up I guess.

Tomorrow will hopefully be a better day.

Just one of those days.

It's 8:30 pm.

Another mentally exhausting day.

I still have to plan for tomorrow.

But I really need to vent and this blog post needs to get from head to the screen in front of me.

Another crazy day.  It's amazing how I classify how my day went, solely by how my last half hour went.  I really tried to control myself today, tried to calm them down to a lower level of noise.  But suddenly nothing was working.

Sigh.

I did my usual round of threatening - no fun, no vidoes, no games period.  And the restlessness increased.  Teaching is the true test and learning ground of patience.  But that's easier to type than experience.

Yet, I can't wait to get back to class.  To maybe try another behaviour strategy - I'm thinking a time wasting tracker.  Or not.

The to-do list increases by the day, just don't feel like I'm not doing enough everyday.  For someone who loves to plan, this is just a WHOLE new level.

Right now I'm just trying to keep my head above water.

Everyday.

Just the fact that I came back home to Mumma, who hugged me and told me she's proud of me, made it better.

Much.

A new world.

My last blog post was July 8, 2012.

Lots has happened since:

1. Federer won Wimbledon.  That screaming crowd at Tagore 4 at Flame is one hell of a memory to keep from Institute

2. I said goodbye to The Incredibles and to Pune.  And even though it has only been three weeks, it does fell like forever ago

3. Got picked up from the railway station by someone other than the parents :P Never felt happier to see a bald, thin man with a wide smile plastered on his face :)

4. Started teaching full time!  First day at school - July 18, 2012.  The Smart Dreamers are all mine now.  All 37 of them :)  Each day is different from the others.  Yes, the sleep deprivation, if not taken care of, will give me dark circles very soon but I wake up everyday with a smile on my face (However cheesy that might sound).  Each little achievement we celebrate - getting the attendance right and finishing our lunch boxes. That's our first photo together!  Here's to the next two years!!

The day I grew up

Another Grandslam Final.

Some more butterflies in the stomach.

I think my most dramatic blogposts come out of Federer matches.

Today has been different.  I still want him to win.  I still screamed along with everyone else at the sad sight it was turning out to be.  But suddenly things were different today.  I guess, I've finally grown up.  It's been one of the more painful matches I've seen in a while.  But I can totally imagine how hyper and super tense a younger me would have been.

I don't know what the outcome of this match is going to be but I know my heart has finally accepted that the Fedex cannot always win.

I can almost hear most of my friends saying "finally" in their heads!

National Public School

The day finally came.  We got our schools in Delhi!  Even though I didn't get the area of my choice, I'm very excited.  Thankfully, Nakul (TFI fellow who's class I'm inheriting) kept a blog too.  So I've been reading about my to-be-kids the last couple of days.  Needless to say, I can't wait to get back home and to National Public School.

Everyone says that I have it easier because it's a second year intervention classroom.  But I feel this huge weight of responsibility on my head now.  To lead those 34 Smart Dreamers to higher heights!

Week 2.

And Week 2 at RN Shah is done too.

Two down. Two to go.

Reading comprehension is up next - Charlie and The Chocolate Factory!

Time is really running.  The three hours at school pass away just like that, the rest flies away in trying to figure out our plans.

Today is the first day I felt really really homesick.  Hearing mumma and papa talk about macaroni at home made me just want to get on a plane and go back. 

Soon I will be home, at a new school, with kids that will be mine for the next two years :)

Week 1

Week one at R.N.Shah is over.

Last Maths class today.  Even though the division problems bombed dramatically, I can't begin to get back to teaching it again!

The week has been eventful to say the least.  My very own classroom - The Incredibles and my very own twenty four children.  The first class I guess is meant to be special and it sure is.

As we make our way through the gullies of budhwar peth everyday, I'm somehow am not overwhelmed by the area, the circumstances or even the stories I hear.  I guess TFI drills the achievement gap so into your head that when you actually see it, it doesn't stun you.  I've been waiting all week for it to hit me.  I don't know if it was the excitement of teaching maths or the sleep deprived days but I'm still waiting...

I don't know whether it's a good thing or not.  Sometimes I feel like I'm not emotionally connecting, that I'm still in some way, detached from it all.

I remember going to this orphanage in Noida, years ago.  I came back home and cried for hours grappling with what fate/ destiny really meant.

Maybe I've just grown up.

60-56=16

Second maths class today.

Long division.

Sigh.

The half an hour just flew by.  But not without me realizing that my children can't subtract!  11-12 years old, sitting smartly in class, all ears for whatever I'm saying were sudden'ly struggling with subtraction!

Sure, I've been told that they're years behind  but today was just a reality check.  More than that I guess.

I can't wait to get back to class.

Lots and lots of "Division=Equal Sharing" ahead.

Fifty Four

The number of hours with my children in VI B.

All seventeen of them.

All the assessments and stuff over, so let the real teaching begin!

Division of two/ three digit numbers today!

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Day 10.

Had my first Maths content class today.  Haven't had this much fun in a while!

We saw a movie called "Stand Up & Deliver" earlier this week and it truly summarized what I felt about Maths all my life -

"Maths is the Greatest Equaliser"

True That.

But grading the beginning of Summer School papers made me realize how tough it's going to be to teach basic maths...have to make lesson plan by tomorrow!!!

You may criticize it, but you cannot desert it.  

It belongs to you now.

- Anu Aga, on TFI

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Day 5.

The one thing I was looking forward to at Institute was teaching maths.  It's a subject I gradually fell in love with in school and miss terribly.

Today revolved around planning a lesson to teach grade three children addition of three digit numbers.  And honestly, it really wasn't the easiest thing to do.  Just defining addition without using the word "add" became such a task for everyone.

Lots and lots and lots of planning is in store before class begins on Monday!!!

On excellence. Day 4.

The promises

I am sure we're going to make a lot of promises in the next two years.  But I just want to take the time out and record the ones that we made today.

1.  Things I don't want to do in my class:

a. Be bored with the content
b. Shout
c. Pick on any particular student
d. Compare
e. Not accept my mistake

2. For summer school,:

a. To be fully aware of how engaged or not the children are
b. Try to pursue constant innovation and never settling into my comfort zone
c. To plan every single second
d. Learning from my mistakes

Teaching as Leadership

I just wanted to put down some of the words we heard today that I thought were special.

The problem is huge, someone has to do something - why not me.