GOD BLESS HER SOUL

One hand
Reaches out
And pulls a lost soul from harm
While a thousand more go unspoken for
They say what good have you done
By saving just this one
It's like whispering a prayer
In the fury of a storm

And I hear them saying you'll never change things
And no matter what you do it's still the same thing
But it's not the world that I am changing
I do this so this world will know
That it will not change me

This heart Still believes
The love and mercy still exist
While all the hatred rage and so many say
That love is all but pointless in madness such as this
It's like trying to stop a fire
With the moisture from a kiss

And I hear them saying you'll never change things
And no matter what you do it's still the same thing
But it's not the world that I am changing
I do this so this world will know
That it will not change me

As long as one heart still holds on
Then hope is never really gone.

- Garth Brooks

Does she have the right to?

I heard Sn's story about a year back. Almost the same time that Udit had passed away. It was the same ailment and thus, I prayed for her. I prayed that she survived through all the chemo, through all the pain, through all the loss.

I will never forget Udit's cremation. It's absolutely heart wrenching too see grandparents standing next to their grand son's funeral pyre. Those images are buried deep inside me and every time I think of that day I cant help but weep. Sometimes it all seems so unreal. It was just yesterday when we'd discussed aishwarya rai at deepali mami's place or talked about what a pain the boards were. And now he's no more but a fading memory...
I know his parents will never recover , that they have learnt to live but the sadness in their eyes will never ebb.

When su told me about sn, I understood how she felt,what it is to see a friend suffer. It's been more than a year and su told me yesterday that the chemo wasn't working and that sne didn't want to continue the treatment. She's 19 years old and she's made a decision to accept death, if that's whats suppose to come her way. She' s 19 years old and I cant even begin to comprehend how she finally made up her mind. Is it all the pain? Is it seeing her friends and family suffer with her?

I've advocated Euthanasia for a very long time. But now as I see sne make the most important decision of her life an inherent sense of dread fill me up from inside. She's too young to give up, I thought. She needs to fight..she needs to have faith..I've been trying to convince myself even though I know its inevitable.

It cant be easy. I don't know how she's going to tell her parents. Will they let her go ahead..

And so I pray for a miracle. I pray that all the scans turn out right..and that sne never has to even think of ending it all.