Holding On.

Two months since graduation.

6 weeks since being back in Delhi.

And almost a month in Bhopal.

As always, it feels much longer ago than this.

After nine crazy months in Cambridge and HGSE I am back home. On most days it feels like the year never happened. Too much happened together in those nine months for it to ever be true. Flights were taken, papers were written, copious amounts of hours were spent on Stata, amazing stories heard and shared and lots of happiness felt.

The journey was very satisfying. I am thankful, grateful and have no regrets. It had to be one of the best decisions I ever made!  The most exciting thing to be on Campus was the constant doses of  inspiration. Which I do sorely miss. I hope I am able to hold on to the faith that things will change.

Today was a rough day. Watching a beautifully crafted education program crumble in the schools it was meant to help was heart breaking. It brought back so many questions that we discussed in classrooms, over glasses of beer and fries and in Gutman too. And yet, this is what we were trained to do. To battle with the problems of scale and not lose hope. To push the system every single day and hope that some day it moves. To have faith and yet be practical. To accept that we can't have it all and yet demand that one day all children will have an excellent education.   

"The sounds of the tea being made invite the peach blossoms to peep in through the window."

Uson, translated by Shaun McCabe and Iwasaki Satoko

For the tired soul.

"I have a nice thermos. I have a full thermos.  Won’t you share my thermos, too?  When skies are grey and you feel you are blue, tea sends the sun shining through.  I have a nice thermos. I have a full thermos.  May I pour some out for you?"

- P. G. Wodehouse, “The Truth about George”

Yaad hai, ek din meri meiz pe baithe baithe

cigarette ki dibiya par tumne

chote se ek paudhe ka ek

sketch banaya tha

aakar dekho, us par phool aaya hai.

- Gulzar

Day 3

I am back here again. Finally staying true to my standard resolution of writing more.

It was a happy day I am pleased to report. Lots of hugs exchanged, chai and parle-g passed around and some work done too.

Sitting in class hearing about everyone's amazing writing projects made me feel so lucky to be here. A small class does have a great vibe and energy.

And yes, alu methi and dal for dinner have just made this day even better.

I am not letting the cold get to me just yet.

Till tomorrow.

Fighting Home Sickness

Yes, this is my second post in two days. Yes, I have never written this frequently in a while. And yes, both posts deal with battling home sickness.

I woke up to an overcast Sunday, perfect moping weather. That pit in my stomach telling me this room is not home refused to go away. But I've been at it all day, making a list of things I could do to shake this feeling off. After all, a new semester starts tomorrow, an exciting class and all my friends back in town.

I also decided to put down my list on the blog. Just in case.

a. CLEAN: I scrubbed and scrubbed the bathroom. Man, it does take my mind of things. And the smell of a clean bathroom does make me happy.

b. TEXT: I messaged all the loved ones, had long conversations and laughed about silly things. Till it was time for those halfway across the world to go to sleep.

c. COOK: I went back to Manjula Aunty's veggie pasta, relived my beautiful new year's eve :) Smiled, ate and felt warm inside.

d. SHOP: Trekked all the way to the Indian store and went crazy. I don't think the sight of methi and bhindi have made me so happy before. An atrocious bill later, I feel like I am back home.

e. WRITE: And so here I am, at the end of my day. Happy and relieved to have survived it without the tap in my eyes opening. It feels like a good laid back Sunday.

Bring it on J-Term, I be ready.

To 2015.

I am toying with the title of this post. Maybe it should be titled "to finding home". This post like most posts written near the first on most blogs is an ode the year that has been. It is also about the two most amazing weeks in California that I am avoiding moping over. 

I am blessed to have had an amazing year. I am also very thankful/grateful/ full of many similar feelings, to the people around me, family and friends, and friends who've become family. It is the year that will be remembered most for finding home in different places, more aptly put, different people. Home is #218 with my hot adrak chai and comfy chair. Home was also Connecticut and school memories refreshed after years. Home for the last two weeks was both Sunnyvale and Walnut Creek, sunny and full of laughter and love.  But then there's home far far away, back in Noida. So far away that sometime just talking to the parents still brings tears to my eyes. Home was also the classroom, the sight of which, even on skype, brought back a strong urge to just run back. 

I start 2015, with a lot of love and hope. And happiness. Here's to the many people who make me feel like home. This year would have been incomplete without you.