INTRODUCING ME!!

Remember when

2012-01-26T19:41:00.000+05:30

They say people always remember exactly where they were when something significant/ life changing happened. The exact place and time, what they were wearing, what day it was, the weather and what not.

Watching Federer play Nadal in the semi finals today, I realized that I seemed to remember almost every thursday of the third week of January for the last six years. That's almost every Australian Open semi final Federer has played. I remember the dejection and the jubilation. That heart breaking semi final against Safin or the white wash of Roddick a couple of years ago. I remember each such afternoon. It's like we've shared this day, every year for so many years.

I've loved and followed Federer through each of those, with tears and shrieks of joy of course. He may have lost today but I know there's at least one more grand slam out there to win!

Here's to you Roger for being an inspiration and a true hero.

See you at the French!

What a life - Part II

2012-01-23T22:18:00.000+05:30

Forty odd years they were married. And just like that, he's gone, leaving her behind. The sadness doesn't leave her eyes. It's like she's in a different world, unaware of conversation around her. The house feels empty without him, like he's just around the corner, tinkering away in the store or fixing a light in the bathroom and that a moment later he's going to walk in the room.

But he's gone.

I can't imagine what she feels. The empty bed. The empty house. The empty chair at the dining table. The empty whiskey glass.

It was a painful two years. Looking at old photos suddenly reminds me of how weak he'd become. It was freedom from the pain, it was what everyone was praying for. Yet I can't come to terms with it. Tears still fill my eyes when I see his photo in their room. A man loved and respected by all.

Here's to you Air Commodore OP Sharma, a true Air Warrior.

I know you're out there watching over me.

I miss you.

True That

2012-01-18T22:50:00.001+05:30

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me
Black as the pit from pole to pole
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid

It matters not how strait the gate
How charged with punishments the scroll
I am the master of my fate
I am the captain of my soul

- William Ernest Henley

SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE

2012-01-08T23:15:00.000+05:30

Like my standard new year’s resolution of writing more.

I know I haven’t written in a while but it sort of took me by surprise to see August 15, 2011 on top of that last post. Where the hell have I been! Hopefully, this year will see more writing!

Coming back to the title of the post, it came to me while walking towards college on Saturday. I haven’t been back in almost two years and at the cost of sounding clichéd, it felt like I hadn’t ever left. I almost felt like I’d run into a van/ class member around the corner. Things have changed. But the smell of the trees near the basement, the canteen food and the musty commerce corridor took me back instantly. A million memories came flooding back. Really should go back once with the gang. Another new year resolution then?

This is the city I live in

2011-08-15T00:08:00.000+05:30

We were driving back from CP last night after dinner and stopped at India Gate for that customary ice cream. There was a Honda city parked right in front of the ice cream wala. They were buying a cornetto, more like some six or seven of them. The ice cream wala was a young kid, must be sixteen or so.

The driver was screaming at him over something and kept yelling for five minutes. Then, as most Delhites do to show power, pulled out his phone and called someone. For the next five minutes someone on the phone terrorized the poor kid. Eventually, to end his ordeal he gave the Honda city dude his money back.

All this for free ice cream.

Jumping out of bed

2011-08-12T23:12:00.001+05:30

Friday is a happy day.

Once I get over the traffic that is.

Today was exhausting as usual. As much as I love Delhi in the rains, I just can't tolerate another bumpy ride back home. My favorite way to wile away time till mumma get dinner ready is to catch up on all the recorded movies.

That is when I decided to watch 'Julie & Julia' for the n th time. I absolutely love the film, cracks me up every single time. But more importantly it really fills me with hope every time I watch it. Hoping that someday, I too will find something that I absolutely love to do. And it is best articulated by Julia Child, describing her cooking classes - "I can't wait to get up every morning. I literally jump out of bed."

I can't wait to feel that way. Mumma tells me it'll come to me on its own. Yet I know I have to start looking. I don't hate the corporate world but I know there's something else out there for me. I just haven't managed to put my finger on it yet. I've been moping for the last two months, complaining about the corporate life, telling all and sundry that I was doing just about ok.

But now I'm putting a stop to that.

I know I need a deadline. I'd originally thought a year should be enough. But I've been working for four months and time really has flown. Maybe purpose doesn't reveal itself just because one has a methodical approach to finding it. I have no other way I guess.

So I'm going to start by making a list of everything that pops into my head and hopefully, I'll find something I'll jump out of bed for every morning.

Amen.

Roger Federer

2011-08-12T00:28:00.000+05:30

This blog has been alive for close to four years and I've never ever written a single post completely dedicated to Him.

I'd planned to write this post right after the French Open final but then I figured I'd wait till Wimbledon. That obviously didn't go too well.

So this one is right after his thirtieth birthday.

Happy birthday Roger.

With this birthday, a deadline I've hung on to since I was fifteen also expired. I spent most of school/ college nursing the ambition of someday being his wife.

"When I'll be 22, he'll only be 29"

*sigh*

But yes we've come a long way. I don't remember the first time I saw him play. Originally he was the other Swiss for me. But after a while I just couldn't take Hingis getting slaughtered by the Williams' on a regular basis.

And then the obsession began.

I've cried after many a Grand Slam heart breaks, stolen Sports Stars from the library (thank you Krishanu!), changed the channel every time he lost a point, got back a bundle of newspapers in German from Switzerland after he won the French Open and insisted on buying the men's vogue because he was on the cover.

I love his story and he really has been an inspiration all these years. Things haven't gone so well this year but I love the fact that he refuses to believe he hasn't got it in him anymore. I believe him.

Here's to the Olympics and Wimbledon 2012.

Just one of those days

2011-05-31T23:07:00.003+05:30

Trust Mumma to bring a smile to my face.

"Beta always remember one thing in life, no matter what you do, you can never choose your boss or your in-laws.

Amen.

Living the corporate life

2011-05-24T23:31:00.001+05:30

January 21, 2011

March 16, 2011

April 24, 2011

It has been more than four months since the result, two months since I got back to work and a month since I shifted to Gurgaon. Just two months and I already seem to have been sucked into the tornado that is the corporate world. So much was to be written but now those moments have passed and some blog posts lost forever.

As rack my brain for meaningful lines, I really am drawing a blank.

So much has suddenly changed, not that I'm complaining. I'm finally discovering what it means to live without the parents and even though I now don't stay under the same roof as them, it never really feels like I'm far away.

Getting used to all the protocol at work has been a little tougher. I detest having to use Arial size ten EVERYWHERE! I miss excel and all those numbers. My Libran scale is at it tipsiest best. Most mondays are spent in mourning of the weekend, a double whammy since I keep thinking about leaving home as well as the impending week ahead.

Thankfully, just the fact that Ankita is so close by makes me smile :)

Discovering Gurgaon is the other chapter unraveling, even though it currently only involves getting to see all the malls around.

Some days are spent dreaming of holidays. I've looked up Rio, Cambodia and Turkey till now, making me realise that a LOT needs to be saved if I intend to get to any of these places soon.

I'm ending this post with a promise to write more soon.

Of Notions Destroyed And Some More...

2011-03-06T00:23:00.000+05:30

GMCS

February 8th - February 25th, 2011

This one's been due for just over a week now.

For the longest time I'd pride myself in the fact that I didn't have a lot of close friends doing CA. It gave me this sense of exclusivity. The hooligans in class only intensified my belief.

So obviously I wasn't looking forward to spending fifteen full days with qualified/aspiring accountants holed up in some random bhawan at ITO. But boy was I wrong.

Not only did I manage to survive the course but I also managed to brutally destroy notions that I've held on to for close to four whole years.

To be honest I eyed everyone a little suspiciously the first two days. Making mental notes of how weird everyone was (no offence, you guys!). But through the games and discussions, the endless photo sessions, the forever lasting game of dumb charades and doodles that still need to be scanned, I met some wonderful people.

It really has been an awesome two weeks. And yes, more importantly it has once again taught me not to judge. For if I really had, I would be missing out on some great people in my life.

So here's to the car rides, the obsession with cocoberry, the lunch lines with women's reservation, the shady song singing and a whole lot more.

See you all soon!

Karol Bagh. Take Two

2011-02-04T00:40:00.000+05:30

June, 2008.

That's the last time I went to work in Karol Bagh. Two whole summers I spent walking the streets, trying to make my way through the hoards of people that descend on Pusa Road everyday.

That summer was also when I fell in love with balance sheets again. As much as I was thankful for that experience, I prayed I'd never have to work their again.

Today I went back. I was very apprehensive when papa suggested it, scared that no one at the office would recognize me. But I couldn't convince him to just send the mithai. So I went.

It was nothing short of surreal. Even though it's probably not possible, it seemed like a LOT more people!

The street looked completely different. A new hotel and new bank branch made it hard for me to locate the office. But I found the staircase at the back. The same guard, the same expression-less secretary on the second floor and the same office. As if time had really not changed anything here.

Thankfully, everyone remembered me and the conversations were not in the least bit awkward.

I will always remember Karol Bagh. For the insane heat and the almost non existent AC, for the pigeon hole offices, for the pink sports car that is still parked opposite office and for the people who really welcomed me then and today :)

Chronicles of the lazy bum

2011-01-28T23:18:00.000+05:30

It has been a week since the twenty first.

More dramatically put, the biggest sub plot of my life got a befitting end a week ago.

But this post is not about the result or the celebrations thereafter or even the million thank yous that really need to be said.

It's about the new side of me that these holidays have made me discover. I've never been this free. Never since school ended have I got this much free time on my hands. I have to admit, I've loved every moment of it. I'm truly dreading the end of my afternoon nap cycle and the twelve hour sleep patterns.

The laziness had also meant the slow death of this blog, which hopefully I'll try and amend soon.

I've been trying to get some reading done the last couple of days but being lazy has really become a lifestyle for me. I get nothing done and I don't seem to mind it either. Hopefully, the brain wouldn't protest too much when the time comes. But till then I intend to fully enjoy the last couple of weeks/days left.

Or as Saumya puts it

" Have fun ya. The next time we'll get long break like this will be when we're pregnant."

Getting back to life

2010-12-17T22:24:00.000+05:30

I've probably written this blog post about a million times in my head.

And I'm already stuck after the first line!

It has been less than a month since the 22nd.I can't believe those papers are over! Looking back, it feels like time just flew by. The endless classes, metro rides, never ending rants and constant self doubt. All done and dusted. At least till January.

I didn't want to make a To Do list this time. For once I wanted to try not planning everything. Not that I've managed to get done quite as much as I wanted to.

The laziness is addictive.

Papa's been nudging me to do something productive, shockingly even mentioning his office once. He thinks I need a routine. Thankfully, Mumma thinks differently.

But at least this is one thing I can now cross from my list.

This blog is alive again!

November.Forever

2010-04-28T09:56:00.000+05:30

K: I'm SO bored. I can't take it anymore!

G: I know ya. The only thing that keeps me going is that its only till november.

K: I know! Then we're free :)

________________________________________________________________________________

G:I was telling Kari how we only have to do this till november!

Papa: That not true you know..

G: Huh?

Papa: It'll never be over. You'll have to buy that reckoner every year.

G : *sigh*

What A Life

2010-03-01T23:39:00.000+05:30

I don't remember the first time I met them.

OP Uncle and Vinnie Aunty.

But I've grown up in their house. Counted the subzi in their fridge for fun. Made that window sill my most favourite spot in the whole wide world. They still tell stories of how they've known me since the time I couldn't reach up to the dining table.

I didn't want to just call them Uncle and Aunty. It was too impersonal. But somehow no other word stuck.

Years have rolled on. They have their own grand children. I don't mind the fact that I have to share them. I'd like to believe that we're all one big family.

November it was when Uncle got sick the first time.

He hasn't been better since.

I see him wasting away every week. Ten kilos lighter now.

Memories of our early morning walks come flooding back. He taught me to not be scared of anything slimy. Entertained me with all his stories of flying.

And there he is now.

I can see the pain on his face. How he masks it with all that sarcasm.

I went to meet him early one day, sure that we'd run of of conversation soon. The silence wasn't unnerving. I wanted to tell him to be strong but I couldn't whiteout crying.

He looked at me. Sighed and said " What a life".

I was stunned. I hugged him and told him it'd be alright, the word sounding hollow in my head.

I came back home and I realised how I'd never told him how much I loved him.

Next time around, I lay my head right next to him.

Told him there was something I needed to tell him. Something I'd never managed to say.

"I love you so much."

He looked at me, smiled and fell right back to sleep.

I was glad he hadn't seen the tears rolling down my face.

Smile Please?

2010-01-11T14:57:00.000+05:30

I love to smile.

Or as Susie would put it, I could be Colgate's brand ambassador. Several times the uncle who takes my passport size photos has told me to smile less.

Being the smiling type, I end up smiling at people everywhere. Aunties with cute babies, people at the office where I'm auditing or even people on the train. But what I've always noticed is that, more often that not, people never smile back. They just stare back blankly as if they've never seen any one smile. They could be laughing hysterically with a bunch of friends two minutes back but the moment a stranger smiles at them, they become all cold and seemingly emotionless.

I think this is something that's every peculiar to Delhi (I'm going to refrain saying India, cause I haven't really travelled that much). Every time I've travelled out side the country,I've had every smile reciprocated. Every person whether walking on the road, in the bus or even in the washroom, would always smile back.

What is it with us?

Are we a much unhappier lot?

It cannot be the busy or hectic life. I've been to New York and I didn't get a single blank stare.

Its like we're afraid to smile.

Or has the city made us distrust even some one who's smiling at us.

Maybe its just not natural instinct and I'm not sure its a quality one can imbibe.

So I'm going to have to just learn to live with the stern/worried/morose looking faces I see in the train every Sunday.

Of Delhi Winters And Related Adventures

2010-01-11T14:41:00.000+05:30

This one's been in the making ever since I read Siddharth's post on Delhi (http://siddharthkrishnamoorthy.blogspot.com/2009/12/ode-to-theedelhi.html).

The last couple of days have got me thinking of the city even more. It all started with my early morning Metro ride. I have class at seven every other day. The fog that descended last Tuesaday made it impossible for me to drive. I had to get to class and the only option was to take the Metro.

So I took the train at quarter to seven, discovering in the process how early morning rides are a perfect opportunity to let the mind wander. The train was enveloped in a blanket of white till Akshardham. Thats when I started thinking of Delhi. I've spent twenty years in staying here ( and I don't care if you don't consider Noida a part of Delhi, I always will). Even though I like to proclaim myself to be a Kashmiri, I'm a complete Delhite.

There's something about this place thats completely unique. Its not just the myriad of people or the potent mix of culture. Its not just the long drawn traffic jams or the Blue lines. Most importantly for me, it is our ability to always be interesting.

You can never get bored in Delhi.

Never ever.

Delhi has to be one of the perfect places to spend time alone. My walk from the Metro station to class made me aware of just that. There's always so much happening around. Even if its 7:15 a.m

I walk and travel alone from class to office. There's hasn't been one day where something interesting hasn't happened. I've seen a pick pocket being caught, an uncle lecture the Metro on the "DTC culture" and a rickshaw wala who was intent on turning a two minute ride into a roller coaster nightmare. All in one day.

I still crib about the traffic, the lack of courtesy, the rash driving and more. But every Sunday as I walk from Pragati Maidan to ITO, I fall in love with the city and realise that it is here that I belong.

An Ode To Worldspace

2010-01-08T11:45:00.000+05:30

I haven't written a word for close to two months.

I don't want to blame it on the padai or the office. I just haven't had anything to say. Though two months is a really long time to not have anything to say.

And this post is not just because I have to write something. Its just that now, I finally have something to write about.

So coming to what this post is all about,

Two Saturdays back, after I came back home from class,

Guess What??

Huh??

They're shutting down Worldspace!

WHAT???!!!! HOW??!!! WHY??!!!

I saw it in the paper in the morning

But..what are we going to do!!!!!!!

We can't do anything

Our life is over!

And that single conversation almost brought me to tears. We've had the Worldspace Radio for more than three years. I've studied to it, eaten dinner with it and read my favourite books with it in the background. My Dad would tell all and sundry how we had to be the most loyal customers. It was kept on the entire day, even when Ma and I took our afternoon naps.

But most importantly, Worldspace helped me discover my type of music. I was one of those who'd listen to just about everything and before I got Worldspace the only musician I really followed was Norah Jones.

And then I found Channel No. 197 Up Country. So totally my kind of music. I love country music and most of what I know and hear of it was because of Worldspace.

So the news of Worldspace was more than just disastrous. It was the end to endless hours of Up Country. I can't go back to normal radio. Too many ads and irrigating RJs and never/hardly any country music.

The last couple of days before it shut down, I heard a little bit of every channel. Mumma says dinner time doesn't seem the same anymore. We're trying to find a replacement in the millions of CDs we own. But I've gone over most of them already and our options are sort of running out.

So here's to Worldspace and the wonderful years we had with it.

You are missed :)

Sorely.

To Bargain Or Not

2009-11-14T23:11:00.000+05:30

I can't haggle to save my life. I don't like to haggle. My mother though can run a certification course on the same. Sadly, I havn't inherited an ounce of that art.

We've been looking for a particular kind of cushin cover for a really long time. Today at CP Mumma found the perfect match. This, after looking through an insane number of covers and trying out different combinations. Then of course came the inevitable

"Kitne lagaogi ?"

"Madam, maine toh aapko theek theek hi lagay hai. 75 ka hai, maine aapko 60 ka bataya hai."

"Chalo 50 ka de do."

"Nahin madam usme toh humara kuch nahin bane ga."

"Arre de do na."

I'm already squriming at this point.

"Nahin, madam"

Chalo theek hai phir, hum aage se dekh le ge

And then the walk away. Now this I've always thought to be the riskiest move. Also, the one that is most likely to get you the best bargains. I mean if you really like whatever it is that you're buying and the guy doesn't relent, you'll end up regretting the walk away.You can't really go back because then the shopkeeper has the upper hand. Or as my five year old cousin would say " Aap ki chop ho gayi " .
Of course, if he does relent and holler for you to come back, you're the lucky winner.

So yes, coming back to my mom's shopping strategy. We walked and she hollered back. We walked a little more and we could hear her scream in the background. So I told my Mom that we should go back and get them. I took her purse and walked back. Now, Mumma thought she'd bargain for 200 (50 *4 ). But when I went back, I some how managed to agree to 220. Mom was furious. But I managed to convince her. The cushion cover lady didn't have change so my Mom got impatient and decided to walk. For twenty bucks. We walked away for twenty bucks.

And this is where my problem with bargaining begins and ends. If you like it, you should get it. That is, if it it involves as little a sum as twenty rupees. Its not a hundred or a grand. Twenty we can afford.

Cushion cover lady follwed us and got the change with her. So we ended up paying 220.My Mom of course, has vowed to never go shopping with me.

My Dad thinks we should have started with 30!

Here Comes That Train !

2009-11-14T22:48:00.000+05:30

The Metro's finally reached Noida !!

I've lived through a lot of construction work, diversions and traffic jams for the last 2 and half years. Needless to say I've really anticipated this moment. The sight of the train being tested a week before gave me such a kick! So yes, I couldn't wait for Friday, the thirteenth.

Mumma couldn't stop talking about it on Friday. She even clicked a photo of it from our balcony. First day was going to be mad so we figured we'd risk Saturday and go for a ride. Of course, half of Noida would have used the train on Friday. The other half, unfortunately decided to turn up the exact moment that I did. So the station was jam packed when we got there. I'd quite literally dreamt of the day I would buy my Smart Card ( yes, I am slightly dramatic). The platform was a total mess !! There were just too many people trying to spot the train. I love the fact that I can spot my house from the platform. So yes, fifteen minutes later the train decided to grace us with its presence.

And then the pushing and shoving began. I've travelled in blue lines and DTCs before so I'm used to it all and over the years have learnt to hold my ground even if it is a few square centimetres. Mumma though hasn't been in a bus for quite some time. I could see how much the rush was bothering her. We ended up standing right next to the doors. So she tried telling people not to get in at several stations. Obviously, that didn't work. And just as we were pushed and shoved in, we were pushed out at Rajeev Chowk.

I'd like to believe that the once the initial excitement wears of, the rush will get staggered. But I'm also painfully aware that there's no way that I can avoid all that rush always. Sadly, the Metro can't make people disappear. Or may be everyone will travel by the train and the roads will be emptier. Maybe not.

The ride back was much better. We got seats and watching the lit up line from the Metro was great.

Thank you DMRC :)

Mumma's Birthday And Going Back To Where We Belong

2009-11-07T22:45:00.000+05:30

We celebrated Mumma's fiftieth today in compensation for last year. I felt so bad for her, completely ruining last year because of my papers and I had promised to make it up to her this year. So we celebrated her 50th today and we celebrate her 51st tomorrow :)

I gave her tons of options and wherever she wanted to go we'd go. I knew she wanted to go back to Khan Market. She's been wanting to go back for years and some how I've never managed to get her there.

Mumma's grown up in Khan Market. Spending winters there because Kashmir was way too cold. So naturally, I've grown up hearing stories of Khan and how much fun every one had together.

Over the three years in college I've spent a lot of time in Khan myself. I even looked up Flat no. 10 and reported back to her that it now housed a salon.

As I drove towards the parking I could sense her excitement. She started looking around and told me of how she remembered it. I let her lead the way. I knew where she wanted to go first. 10, Khan Market. She stood there and just looked. I could sense all those memories flooding back. We even went up and looked around, as she proudly announced to all in sight that she used to live there earlier.

We went all around the market. I heard stories of night stays, bike rides, morning walks and more. I've heard most of them before and I know I'd love to hear them all over again. She told me of shops that were there even when she was young. She told me how much the place had changed.

I thought we'd go to CP next but she wanted to go to Lodhi Garden. I know how much she used to love those morning walks with Papaji. She looked around like an excited kid. We walked all over the place and I loved the fact that she was completely enjoying herself.

Its been a wonderful wonderful day. We haven't spent this sort of time together in a very long time and I'm very glad we did.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMA :)

Of Home, Audits, Train Rides And All That Jazz

2009-10-30T23:11:00.000+05:30

I've just come back from my first out station audit.

It was my first trip alone in years.

I wasn't looking forward to it a lot but it eventually turned out to be a lot of fun. I suddenly realised how use to I am to staying in Delhi. I crib about the traffic but deserted roads in Panchkula made me uncomfortable.I complain about the millions of people and zero breathing space but an almost empty mall on a Saturday evening made me feel like I had landed on Mars.

I love Delhi.

But I never really knew that. I've always wanted to move out. I've made extravagant plans of moving to DC or owning a farm in Vienna. I'd never even considered that leaving would ever be an issue.

I also didn't love the whole being alone bit as much as I thought I would. Mornings just dragged on forever. I must have called home some three times even before breakfast. The silence at night wasn't soothing and that stupid coir mattress didn't help either.

I discovered family and the fun of hanging out with cousins. I've never felt so loved by relatives in a really long time. Those late night gossip sessions still have me in splits. I hope we get to meet more often !

To top it all the work wasn't that bad either. Tons of new stuff that I will hopefully remember.

It was a great week and I'm glad to be back home !!

Of Blue Elephants and Disappearing Parks

2009-10-14T16:35:00.000+05:30

I see those statues everyday. Wrapped in blue plastic waiting to be unveiled. It makes me sick every single day. Mayawati and her army of blue elephants trampling over every park in sight.Endless articles have and will be written on the money and environment. But she's also managed to single handedly destroy much more than that.

I remember driving by those walls a couple of months back. Kari and I thought it was to border the parks. Little did we know that Mayawati was just trying to keep all the demolition out of sight. I remember how Papa came home all distressed one day. He had managed to get a glance behind those massive stone walls. He couldn't stop talking about how everything had been razed to the ground. He could see the swirls of mud spilling onto the road from his office.

I don't remember the last time I went to Nandan Kanan but I have a lot of happy memories there. The endless orange bars I've had there, the school picnics, sleeping in the winter sun and taking a drive just to see the fountains light up the night.

Its all gone now.

And even though there's a stay and the court might intervene, what was is now all gone.

If I could, I'd love to go throw a shoe at those stupid statues.

21 it is!

2009-10-14T14:58:00.000+05:30

I wanted to mark the day on my blog.

And even though I'm three days late, I still wanted to write this post.

I'm not one of those people who start counting down days a month before their birthday or get really super duper excited.

But this one I was really looking forward to. 21 has a great ring to it and I get to use it for one entire year. I'd planned to do tons of things, some plans worked out and others didn't. I didn't get the dress or the haircut. But I had great two days and I'm trying to stretch and spill the happiness over to this.

So even though Henna might say I'm already half way to 42, I'm really kicked to be 21!!

Of Tax Reports, Five Audits and Six Whole Months

2009-10-14T11:55:00.000+05:30

Its been six months.

Six whole months.

I didn't thing I'd survive this long. Half a year seems like a really long time!

I don't think I've made many friends but that's not really something I was looking for any way.

I'd promised myself that I'd give the work my best shot. I figured maybe, just maybe I might like something. Six months and a tax deadline later, I know at least one thing for sure. Tax is way cooler than any audit.I like looking up stuff on my own or figuring what the act really wants to say. There's a certainty to tax that in some weird kind of way is vaguely comforting. I hate asking people around and new audits scare me slightly.I don't know what to do, who to ask, where to go.

Mumma used to constantly tell me that she can't imagine me spending all my days buried in files in front of a computer.But honestly, I don't mind it one bit. I like having my own desk and my own laptop.I like labelling files and sorting out papers.

But it also worries me that I might get too comfortable. And then not have enough guts to get out when I really want to.

Hopefully, by the end of the next 6 months I'll know exactly where I want to be.

Baby Noor

2009-08-27T21:57:00.000+05:30

I'm not too fond of lizards but unlike most people I don't think they're creepy and disgusting. I do hate mosquitoes though. Lizards eat mosquitoes. So all my life I've followed the simple logic of a lizard being an enemy's enemy and thus, my friend.

But for a while now I've been noticing these baby lizards all over my house. They're just beyond cute. With tiny hand and feet that look like they're been sketched on the wall, these lizards are just adorable. Watching them run around the house has been so much fun. Many an exam night I have spent looking out for these lizards for some entertainment.

I can't believe people shoo them out of their house or even try to kill them!

Since I have been so in love with these baby lizards, I decided to name them! I can't really differentiate between them so they're all called Noor :)

The last baby Noor was spotted a couple of days ago but I haven't seen her since. I'm waiting for a new one to pop on my walls soon!

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

2009-08-16T19:49:00.000+05:30

Believe it or not, your life does not depend on the Direct Tax Code.
Really.

-Pa

HAPPY FAMILY.

2009-08-07T23:07:00.000+05:30

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROGER!

Why so sad.

2009-08-06T13:17:00.000+05:30

How are you feeling now?

I'm ok. No fever now.I just feel all fat.

But you're not fat.

I am.

Why don't you watch something on TV? Watch So you think you can Dance.

Look at them. They're all so thin.

Ok, so maybe this was not such a good idea.

Its just so hot.

Then why don't you switch on the AC?

Because then its just too cold.

Then just increase the temperature.

but it doesn't go above 25.

Are you sure you're ok?

I just feel like crying.

Umm..why? Did someone say something at work?

No. I just get this feeling from time to time.

__________________________________________________________

Are you feeling better today?

I spent the entire afternoon crying.

Why?

It happens sometimes. I'm fat, I haven't studied and I'm not motivated enough.

But you're sick. You can't be motivated.

Still.

_____________________________________________________________

Hello.

Ok woman here's the deal. I know you really like to, but you need to stop wallowing in self pity. Stop wallowing.Stop.

umm..ok.

Have you cried in the last two hours?

No.

Have you eaten anything?

I want to eat Spaghetti.

You know you really make it impossible for anyone to help you.

Of Audit Reports, Excel Sheets and Traffic Jams

2009-07-30T14:30:00.000+05:30

I figured it is high time I start documenting my work days :)

It has been one hell of a week. I've just finished my first Internal Audit report. I've gotten up at 4 in the morning to work on a presentation. I've spent 2 entire hours trying to get home from CP. I've learnt a billion Excel short cuts. I'm discovering office politics.I've also counted everything from beer glasses, knives, pillow cases, examination sheets and fans.

Work has been fun. But I'm guessing that's because everything is new. Once the sheen wears off, I'm fearing its going to get slightly boring. Thankfully, I start at a new place on Monday :)

I've been working since May 14,2009. The days are all sort of flying by and I can't really tell one day from the other. That really can't be such a good thing. Hence, the blog post.

Of Greener Grass And Sour Grapes.

2009-07-19T19:55:00.000+05:30

Twenty suddenly seems so old.

I've finished college, I have a job and I drive my own car. As a ten year old I wanted nothing more than to grow up and have my own cabin and computer.I'm living the life I hoped I would.

And in that same ten year old brain I had a list of things that I hoped I'd never let go of. I couldn't imagine life without them. As I discussed school gossip with Ratik on Pranav's birthday, I realized how much of that list had already disappeared or was fast vanishing. Now this list is not a profound collection of ideas, values or even people. It was just normal everyday stuff that I thought I'd absolutely die without.

I used to love the summers regardless of how hot it would actually get. Summer meant bhutta and mango every evening. I used to pity people who didn't know what an excellent combination they were missing out on. I've started to hate mangoes and I can't even remember the last time I had bhutta. With the advent of frozen corn, even corn rice is not exclusively summer anymore.

Summer was also when the swimming pool would become my second home. And now three entire summers have gone by and I can count the number of times I've been to on one hand.

I'm a TV addict. Or was till some time back. I had a couple of friends who didn't have one at home and frankly their life just seemed so sad. It sounded insane that people actually lived with little or no TV in their life. I count myself lucky now if I get to watch even one Seinfeld episode a week.

The movie hall-every weekend has been my family's motto till as far back as I can remember. I love everything about the movies. I love the trailers. I love the pop corn. I love talking for hours about the bad ones. The works basically. So when Papa told me about movies releasing that I hadn't heard of, I sort of started freaking out.

There's almost nothing on that list that hasn't disappeared except possibly the phone, the fact that I live with my parents and that I still love to underline.

The "coolness" of this life is suddenly lost one me. I have to start rediscovering it before the discontentment descends.

All I need is another list.

For the lack of cheesy titles

2009-04-11T22:29:00.000+05:30

I don't like farewells or good byes. They make me uncomfortable. But they still need to be perfect for me.

I'd rather people leave and then call from wherever as if they never really went away.

I've been dreading this moment for the past couple of months now. That one moment you realise how pretty soon everything constant around you will change. Yes, these three years have flown by but July 16,2006 doesn't really feel like yesterday either.

It has been an eventful three years to say the least :)

Everytime I cried over friends in school, Mumma would tell me of how true friends are always found in college. I rarely believed her. Of course now I think that she couldn't have been more right.

It hasn't been the easiest three years. I didn't make it any easier with the constant bickering and howling. I'd hate it when I was constantly told how everything in the world happens for a reason. I couldn't see a single reason.

Now I see a million !

I'm not sure I'll miss college that much. But I will miss the people. I will miss my van and how there was never a dull moment.

I know that things are going to change and possibly not always for the best. But right now I just want to think about all the fun and happy stuff that made these three years so memorable :)

DANCE FOR DEMOCRACY

2009-03-09T19:24:00.000+05:30

I’m a 20 year old Indian citizen eligible to vote. But after 4 failed attempts to get a voter ID card, I’m beginning to wonder why we’re even called a democracy.

One of the first things my parents insisted on after I turned eighteen was to apply for this all essential government document. So this becomes attempt number one. I waited and waited for those verification lists to be released. But nothing happened. No list no name. I figured that it wasn’t that bad a situation. I was sure loads of people apply more than once.

So we come to attempt number two. Again form filled, again no name. By this time I had completely lost interest. My parents still had some hope.

What changed my mind was this campaign by some RWAs to help people get voter-id cards. I made my enquiries and made my way to Rockwood School. So this became attempt 3. This time I was confident that I would FINALLY get the card. But then again I trust the system way too much for my own good.

This brings me to attempt four. Furious and agitated, Mumma and I made our way to the Election office. It wasn’t difficult to find, half of Noida seemed headed in that direction!
There were 2 windows for submitting the forms and a lot of people. Obviously, as Indians we still don’t understand the concept of lines. So basically everybody was on top of each other trying to reach that elusive window. Pushing and shoving people in my way I finally reached the counter only to be greeted by a signboard that said” Submit form, no enquiry allowed” . There were so many people that none of the forms were being checked. I was handed my fourth receipt and told to wait at least a month before I even enquire.

The whole exercise seemed like such a farce. There are no codes or receipts numbers on the acknowledgement I’ve been handed out four times. Even if I want to, I can’t track down the status of my application. I have a feeling that somewhere in some dilapidated government office millions of forms are just rotting away.

Not the poverty nor the unemployment or terrorism, this feudal voter-id issuing system has been the biggest failure of our democracy. I want to vote, I’ve done everything in my power to be eligible to (except bribing someone) but I still can’t exercise my right.

We might be called the biggest democracy in the world, but I’d like to see how many people of this huge population actually had a stress free ride while obtaining their voter-id card.

SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE

2009-01-25T00:15:00.000+05:30


Powered by: Chakpak.com	Slumdog Millionaire

I've just got back from watching the movie and I knew I *had* to write this one before I fell asleep.

Q & A is one of my favorite books of all time. I still remember how all of us had fallen in love with it as 17 year olds. I couldn't wait for the movie to be made. Of course all the Oscar-Golden Globe buzz just made me even more excited.

I had my doubts when I heard snippets of the story but I promised myself to not think of the book while watching the movie. That obviously did not happen. I kept going back to pages and wondering why they changed so much.

Ok, first things first, it is a good movie. Brilliantly shot and edited. A.R Rahman most certainly deserved that Golden Globe and definitely has his name written on that Oscar statuette. The kids were a great cast as well.

I totally understand why so many people have liked the movie. I'll even understand if it actually does sweep all the Oscars. But as a great fan of the book I was left with a sense of loss and disappointment at the end.

The book is no longer called Q & A and everybody who picks up Slumdog Millionaire from a book shelf will end up reading a story completely different from the movie. It makes me sad that even though the sales of the book will pick up, no one will experience the same joy or amazement at what a marvelous piece of literature it really is.

Or maybe that will always be the problem with screen adaptations. The director cannot film every page written but has to make you feel the same emotions as that of the book. And this is where I think we need to appreciate Mira Nair ( for Namesake) and even Satyajit Ray ( who turned two books into a series of three movies).

There was just so much in that movie that wasn't needed. And I'm not one of those who have a problem with all that poverty being shown. The entire second half of the movie was original. It shouldn't be called an adapted screenplay, inspired is actually the right word.

If the same thing had been made in hindi I'm pretty sure it could have easily been labelled as a typical masala-potboiler. Ironically it gets made in English and sweeps the world of its feet.

The biggest problem I have of course is still the title. Funnily enough the book never even mentions the term.

Ghajini

2008-12-25T23:04:00.000+05:30


Powered by: Chakpak.com	Ghajini

I've been waiting to see this one for quite some time and frankly speaking I feel slightly disappointed.

Maybe I should start with what I liked. I liked the music. I loved Asin. I think it was she who was the high point in the movie and not Aamir. I loved the whole Aamir-Asin romance, it was quite nice.

But there was just too much wrong with it.

For starters, the villain was awful. Beyond awful. Plus, he had the worst dialogues ever! Sample this : "Yeh short term memory loss patient mujhe mare ga, mujhe? " or "Dekh short term memory loss, delkh mujhe!".
He wasn't the least bit scary. What they needed was a villain who evoked fear. What we got was a two bit actor and some shady-sidey goons. Technically if the movie is named after the villain then he should at least have some screen presence. I think this was a major shortcoming of the movie.
And the violence. Too gory, too bloody and sickening. I think it is time we officially ban iron rods from hindi movies!

I don't think it was a brilliant performance by Aamir either. I mean all he did as the short term memory loss patient ( no pun intended) was growl, fight and look around.

The director doesn't give the audience time to even feel an ounce of sympathy for his character or the great loss he has suffered. We just shift from happy to violent in a split second. And thus, I didn't really feel a connect with the character at all.

And then there were just too many loopholes. I think the script writers just dug a hole for themselves when they proclaimed that the protagonist could only retain information for 15 minutes. Very conveniently Aamir would remember and not question stuff for long periods of time. And then just as conveniently suddenly look lost. I mean they can't expect the audience to be *that* stupid.

And we also have the Rajnikanth-science defying stunt scenes. Aamir survives a rod being pushed right through his belly, manages to kill the villain and even eventually have a happy and peaceful life. Now that's something.

Would I recommend it. Not really. It is not that great and definitely fell short of my expectations.

On Education

2008-12-22T12:49:00.000+05:30

Half Yearly Examination
Class V
Subject : English

Name:__________ Section: _____________ Roll no. _____________

Q.1 Read the following passage and answer the given questions:
There are eight crows in the picture. Seven crows are flying. There are seven ducks in the picture. Five ducks are in the water.

Q.1a How many crows are there in the picture?
Ans______________________________________
________________________________________
_________________________________________

Q.1b How many ducks are in the water?
Ans_______________________________________
__________________________________________
___________________________________________

Q.2 Complete the sentences:

This is an elephant.
Its ears are _____.
Its eyes are _____.

This is a rat.
Its tail is _______.
Its eyes are______.

This is a rabbit.
Its tail is ________.
Its ears are______.

Q.3 Fill in the blanks-
R_d ,
C_pb_ard ,
O_ange

Q.4 True or false?
a. Butterflies do not fly.
b. The frog scares the birds away.
c. Pigeons and parrots are birds.
d. Frogs can crawl.

Q.5 Fill in the blank-

A Gardner _______ of the garden.
A barber _______ hair.
A caprpenter_____ furniture.
A teacher _____ us.
A doctor _____ his patients.

Q.6 Give the meaning of :
Long: ____

Sky: _____

Field: ____

People: _____

Colour: _____
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I volunteered for Teach India in July this year. I though it was a great idea and I could easily spare two hours every Saturday.

And so I started teaching Class V English at the Primary Government School, Chalera Village.
I remember my first day. It took me at least 40 minutes of driving through narrow lanes to finally find the school and a decent place to park.

The school is bigger than the other government schools in the area. There's a ground in the middle and a series of classrooms around it. There are no tables or desks. No fans or lights. Just a bare classroom with a dilapidated black board and some charts on the walls. The children sit on mats which are threadbare. They clean the class room themselves in the morning and I think even contribute to buy the Jhadu as well as the chalk. I don't have the courage to go look at the bathrooms.

And so I began my first class. I didn't really have an option but English because all the other subjects were taught in Hindi and frankly its been years since I've written full page in Hindi.

The children are all very sweet. More so because I refuse to use the cane their teacher promptly handed me when I started teaching. Slowly I discovered how far behind they were in English to any other child possibly in my school in class V. But then again, they don't really speak it outside the classroom. They treat it exactly like I used to treat Sanskrit in school. It is just something you have to get by. They're probably know as much English as some child in class I in a public school.

I am no excellent teacher myself. But I try. The problem is that they don't even understand what Grammar means. So I try different ways to make them understand simple rules. At the same time I've discovered how complicated a language English is!

And it all came down to this paper. But that turned out to be a bigger scam. I was told to tell them all the answers. And that's what I did. So now I know how they have passed all these years.

It is not really the teachers who are at fault. There is one teacher teaching class V six different subjects, that too at a ridiculously low salary.On top of that there are transfers and stupid government duties. How can you expect anyone to be that proficient? I can't expect anybody who'd like to either teach or study in those conditions.

Going there every Saturday is like entering a new world. A world that is completely alien to me. The place is no castle yet everybody is very happy. They don't complain or crib. Maybe because they know nothing better. Some of the children are genuinely very bright and so many of them really want to learn something. I just wonder what happens to them after this class.

And these kids are the future of our country.

This is it :)

2008-11-28T18:16:00.000+05:30

They're done.

The papers have been over for a really long time now.

It has taken me more than a month to get over the laziness and get back to writing.

I have more exams in a month but I'm not really thinking about that for now :)

The happiness and relief have sort of faded away by now.

I don't exactly know what this post is supposed to say except that I'm back!

63 days to go

2008-08-30T20:17:00.000+05:30

2nd November is 63 days away. * I started writing this post last week*

Exams that seemed millions of years away are finally year. I figured, since they're all that I've been thinking about, I might as well blog about them.

I don't remember the last set of November exams all that well. I wish I did. Maybe it would have taken some of the pressure of, knowing that I've been through it once.

I 've made my schedule. Nothing feels better than to tick a chapter in that little red book ( Sounds slightly Communist?).

My Dad keeps telling me to take it one day at a time. I prefer it that way as well but time really seems to be flying by. And every time I start talking of all those things I want to do after November he gives me this look and tells me to think of only the exams.

There's so much to do!

I didn't imagine it would be this tough. It is tough because there' s no constant evaluation. I have no idea how I'm doing or whether I'm really on the right track.

So this is what I've decided to do. Since I am really going to be at home for the next two months I am going to take out all my exam stress on the blog.

So this blog is going to witness all that I am going to go through as the exams get nearer *shudder*

Where I've been

2008-08-27T17:48:00.000+05:30

I haven't touched my blog in three weeks.

There's been a million things I've wanted to write. But I never actually got down to writing them.

A LOT has happened in August.

I fell in love with the Olympics and ended up watching almost every event.

I went to Mussorie and travelled in a train after some 2 years.

I got up my result and have buried the shock somewhere deep inside after shedding copious amounts of customary tears.

I'm this close to start hating college.

I didn't meet a deadline for the first time ever. That advertising project never even got started.

Some friends have found their boys while other have broken up.

I am a grand richer after Rakhi.

I just bought myself a label-maker and I'm already addicted.

I've spent a lot of time in the basement grumbling about how tough this year is!

Half my sentences begin with " After November..."

I WANT

2008-08-06T20:07:00.000+05:30

-Grandparents who are not dead.

-More sleep.

-Less classes/projects/assignments.

-Friends who don't crib.

-Friends who'll listen to me be the Crib Queen.

-The Van.

-A clear mind in the mornings.

-Best Friends whose phones are not unreachable.

-Lots and lots of chocolates.

-To shatter a glass vase into bits.

-To see Federer win again.

-To burn something.

-Attend a Birthday Party.

-A tight hug.

-To wail like a baby.

-To have nothing to do.

-To go see a movie.

-Smile.

PANICKING & SORTING

2008-07-16T23:25:00.000+05:30

I've always had problems staying optimistic all the time. I do try to look at the positive side of most situations but its really not that easy.

I have periods where nothing according to me is right. I turn into a monster during those moments. I have no clue how my parents bear with all the tantrums and screaming sessions. The fact that they still let me stay with them is testimony to how patient they are :)

Over the years I've tried to find ways and means to try to make these mild panic attacks pass without causing too much emotional damage to people around me.

Last night I discovered yet another effective way!

It was a perfect day. The Lakshmi Nagar trip couldn't have gone better. I found the place, reached on time and the people were all really nice. For some strange reason I had one of my major panic attacks in the evening. There was absolutely no way I was going to start third year in such a foul mood. So I:

Arranged all my books subject wise.

Took out all my shoes/sandals and re-arranged them, categorising them into heels and flats.

Took out everything from the dressing table and cleaned and threw away all the useless stuff, in the process discovering the obscene number of hair bands I possess.

I found two old pairs of spectacles, both haven't been touched in years.

I then decided to wash a couple of my suits. OK, it was one suit but for somebody whose always used a washing machine it was a lot.

I cleaned out the pencil box, sharpened two new pencils and found a couple of pens I could use.

I found the college bag and tried to fit in as much as I could ( I almost sound like a five year old whose going to school for the first time).

I looked through my cupboard and decided what to wear.

I then ironed the clothes.

By the time I finished it was quarter to one and the feeling had passed.

Hopefully, next time a lot less cleaning and sorting will do the job.

Mumma doesn't eat Chinese

2008-07-11T22:28:00.000+05:30

So we're sitting at the dinner table when Mumma and I tell Papa about are lunch/parlour plan. He groaned about the high parlor expenses and then:

Papa: Please tell me you're not going to Subway for lunch?

Me: What's wrong with Subway?

Papa: You guys always go there.

Mumma: So?

Papa: Pick a new place, be a little adventurous! Why not Punjabi By Nature?

Me: You want me to pay ninety bucks for a roti.

Mumma: Why would we go without you?

Papa: KFC?

Me: *stares*

Mumma: *glares*

Papa: Fortune Cookie?

Me: Mumma doesn't eat Chinese.

Mumma: Why do you always say that?

At this exact moment I stared at my mother. She hates Chinese or at least that's what I've come to believe over the last couple of years. So I tried to double check. My last memory of us as a family eating Chinese definitely has Mumma complaining about the excessive smell of garlic. We've never gone out for Chinese since then ( discounting that brilliant meal in San Francisco).

Every single time anybody suggested Chinese I shot the idea down. "Mumma doesn't eat Chinese" was repeated countless times.

I haven't once considered that my Mum didn't really hate it as much as I thought/exaggerated.

I can't believe that for so many years she's never told me this. She's been watching me increase the degree of her hatred towards Chinese every single year. Not once did I sincerely ask her whether she'd go eat Chinese. I just assumed away and as a result denied myself some great meals.

But its all out in the open now. Mumma doesn't hate Chinese. So we're going to Lemon Twist tomorrow. YAY!

I am just glad that she finally admitted it.

Lessons from Strategic Management

2008-07-03T11:28:00.000+05:30

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
-Will Rogers

Two men were passing through a jungle. They saw a tiger at a distance. One of them immediately started running away. "No use", the other claimed,"We cannot outrun him. We are sure to be killed". The first person replied ,"I need to outrun you, not him".

THE MAKINGS OF A BRILLIANT YEAR

2008-06-30T22:56:00.000+05:30

I am not the new year kind of person. In fact, my family hardly ever manages to stay awake till midnighton the 31st. Somehow I tend to view my years according to the academic year. Thus, my new year is approaching!

Third year starts in 2 weeks and I just HAD to write about the brilliant 2007-08 I've had.

The "No Denim" Campaign

I hated wearing jeans in first year. Thus, my first agenda for second year was to stay as far away from denim as possible. I don't know how so many people are ok with walking around in that fabric in the heat. I found that I had enough skirts to last me an entire summer! So, I'm happy to report that the campaign was a success and I plan to re-launch it on July,16.

Saloni Sood for College Vice President

I was quite surprised that she wanted to run in the first place, but I'm proud of the job she's done over the year. Managing a campaign that eventually was a success, was the highlight of the year. The hours spent over making posters, deciding the agenda, trying to stay ahead of the other candidates and getting Saloni's hair to look presentable were all worth it. I also made some great friends along the way.

I will never forget the day of the election. To actually sit there in the control room and count the votes was just scary. But then nothing beats the feeling of knowing that Saloni had actually beaten everyone hollow.

Debating and all that jazz.

JMC discovered Parliamentary Debating. After a year of trying to work out the debating scene, we finally manged to get two respectable teams. We found our own practise place near the Amphi Theatre. We sometimes also manage to get an audience. I also discovered two amazing partners. I don't think JMC-A will ever be the same again without Natasha. I loved everything about this team. How we'd scream at each other and still be ok, how Natasha successfully inserted Economic theories in EVERY debate , how Saloni unsuccessfully tried the same with Psychology, how I screamed my lungs out every single time & how we gelled as a team so well. I can't wait to get back to all of this and more. And yes, we have to find a third.

Play something Country

After years of searching I found my type of music. If it weren't for World Space I'd still be listening to Pop(not that there's anything wrong with that). I love everything about Country Music. I am at that stage right now where I love all kind of Country. I'm still developing favourites. I love the lyrics, I love the sound of the Banjo and I love that Southern twang. I am also still trying to find somebody who ALSO listens to and loves Country Music. Maybe Nashville's the place where my search will end :)

Of Birthday treats and lots of chocolate

I still remember the first day of second year. How 5 of us piled into one auto to have dessert at Big Chill. It was the best day ever. We had 7 different types of dessert at 11 in the morning. That sort of set the tone for the year. We've had some great birthday treats this year. Luckily there was one every month so we always had something to look forward to. We went everywhere from The Nirula's at Chanakya(which has now been shut) to Nathus in Bengali Market, we even experimented with Mexican at Rodeo and braved the smoke to have some great humus at Hooka! All of these treats of course ended with some great meehta :)

Of 9 in a row

January brought all of us back to reality. Nothing can prepare you for nine exams in a row, not even the fact that we had given eight consecutively last year. I think we just became numb after the first 5. Beyond those, the rest suddenly just didn't matter. The fact that it was FREEZING didn't really help us. On top of that I am not the sort of person who can stay awake night after night. By the time I reached the first Saturday I was just flipping pages by twelve. But then it's an experience we'll never forget and all of us did manage to stay alive at the end. Kashika and Kari's long due birthday treat at the end of last papers was godsend :)

Van sisters,night stays & some more bonding

I love my Van. I don't know what I would have done without them. College would be so dull without the constant gossip,teasing and giggles. We've bonded even more this year. First year was all about trying to to get to know each other. By the time we got to second year we were inseparable.

The night stays on Saloni and Susan's birthday were so much fun that I can't wait to have another one. I don't know how and why we became so close. I think it's the fact the originally we weren't really expecting anything of each other. In fact the only thing we had in common was that we're all from Noida and that we all needed transport to college.We accept that none of us is perfect. And yes, we've had our fights but somehow everything works out perfectly in the end. The discovering-each other process has been great fun. Mumma used to always tell me about how I'd find great friends inc college and I know I've found mine.

Six weeks of trauma

If 9 papers in a row weren't enough we ended up having the same 9 papers stretched out to six weeks for the university exams. It wasn't made easier by the fact that there was a 2 week holiday exactly mid way. Again I am not sure how I survived through those but I am just glad they're over. It was hard enough to have Susan and Saloni laugh at us after they finished their papers way before us. It's something that I know is going to happened again next year but I don't think we'll ever be prepared for such kind of trauma. But then again we had a great post exams celebration complete with a triple scoop hot chocolate Fudge :)

AT THIS VERY MOMENT..

2008-06-04T23:17:00.001+05:30

11:45 a.m :

I was sitting around in office today waiting for Uncle( the office handy man) to take out a couple of files. I looked at my watch and thought of everybody I know and what they would be doing at that very moment.

Mumma's probably reading a book with a cup of coffee/Iced Tea on the side table.

Papa's glued to the laptop/phone.

Henna's giving her Accounts paper.

Saumya's getting ready for Shantiniketan.

Pooja's probably trying to wake up Eshan for the afternoon exam or convincing him to at least study something ;)

Salo's preparing for an even better day in Poland.

Susie's stuffing herself with even more Non Veg food!

Eashan's giving an Evidence paper.

Ankita's probably working really really hard in office.

Lots of other people are filling the DU common admission form.

Kashika's attending some coaching class.

Kari is in a movie hall.

And Raman's probably on the phone.

Phew! That's a LOT of things to happen at the exact same minute!

PLAY SOMETHING COUNTRY..

2008-06-03T23:53:00.000+05:30

I love country music. I am so grateful for worldspace and channel 197. If it wern't for UpCountry I'd probably never find my kind of music.

I've managed to catch a lot of country music over th elast few months an dI've loved every single bit, some more than the others.

Its amazing how there's a song about every emotion complete with the southern twang and banjo.

So here's a list of some of my all time favorites..

Busses, cars, and airplanes leaving

Burning fumes of gasoline

And everyone is running

And I come to find a refuge in the

Easy silence that you make for me

It's okay when there's nothing more to say to me

In the peaceful quiet you create for me

And the way you keep the world at bay for me

The way you keep the world at bay

-Dixie Chicks

So I'll just keep on singing

'til I hear the whole world singing those songs about me

and who I am

songs about loving and living and good hearted women

and family and God

yeah they're all just songs about me

-Trace Adkins

Remember when old ones died and new were born

And life was changed, disassembled, rearranged

We came together, fell apart

And broke each other's hearts

Remember when

-Alan Jackson

And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life

It’s like I just stepped outside

When everything was going right

And I know just why you could not Come along with me

This was not your dream

But you always believed in me

Another winter day has come And gone away

In even Paris and Rome

And I wanna go home

-Blake Shelton

KAROL BAGH, TAKE 2

2008-06-03T23:45:00.000+05:30

I hated it the first time. I swore to never walk the same streets again. Yet, I find myself back in Karol Bagh for the sultry summers.

I think its the work that makes all the difference. This time around I've realised why I wanted to be an accountant in the first place. There's a lot of work and a lot to learn. For the first time, I want to learn more. I finally see a purpose and an end to the tremendous amounts of paper work. The cherry on top is that I just made an entire Balance Sheet on my own :)

I've also learnt so much about professional conduct. I've found out exactly what every accountant should be like.

I don't mind the heat, I don't mind being buried under files the entire day, I don't mind making mistakes and I don't mind the 3 hours of travel every single day.

In fact, I'm loving it!

What Ifs...

2008-06-03T23:34:00.000+05:30

I hate to think of what could have been...

Yet, every time I make a mistake I will replay the moment over and over again in my mind, trying to think of better ways of handling the situation.

In school I used to think of answers for interjections till weeks after the debate. After exams I think of better answers or even answers to questions that weren't even asked.

It's almost like I'm consoling myself. Maybe if I had acted in a different way things would have fallen into place, decisions would be made in my favour or I'd get everything I ever wanted.

I think the whole exercise is pointless yet it takes a lot of willpower to not indulge in it anymore. The futility only dawns upon me when Mumma talks the same way. What if she had had let me do law, what if I had changed school, what if I was in a different college..

I think these questions are better left unanswered. In fact there isn't actually any way of finding out and I am happy not knowing

Tagged..

2008-05-26T20:40:00.001+05:30

Q. Last movie you saw in a theater ?
A. Darjeeling Limited. Brilliant!

Q. What book are you reading ?
A. Tolstoy's biography and Jeffrey Archer's latest.

Q. Favorite board game ?
A. Scrabble, Business

Q. Favorite magazine ?
A. Reader's Digest

Q. Favorite Smell ?
A. Rain, Rajma, Cake

Q. Favorite Sound ?
A. Mumma's laughter

Q. The worst feeling in the world ?
A. Guilt

Q. The first thing you think of/say when you wake up ?
A. What time is it?/Hi!

Q. Favorite Fast Food place ?
A. Subway

Q. Future child's name ?
A. Noor

Q. 'If I had a lot of money, I would...' Complete this sentence -
A. Buy a house in Austria

Q. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal ?
A. No.

Q. Storm - Cool or Scary ?
A. Cool when you're inside, scary when I'm driving.

Q. Favorite Drink ?
A. Mango Shake

Q. Finish this sentence - 'If I had the time, I would..'
A. Exercise!

Q. Do you eat the stems on Broccoli ?
A. Sometimes.

Q. If you could dye your hair any color, what would be your choice ?
A. Purple

Q. Favorite Sport to watch ?
A. Tennis

Q. One nice thing about the person who sent this to you ?
A. Great Listener

Q. What's under your bed ?
A. A Painting we bought from San Francisco and an anchor stitch kit

Q. Would you like to be born as yourself again ?
A. Absolutely.

Q. Morning person or Night Owl ?
A. Morning person forever

Q. Over Easy or Sunny side up ?
A. Sunny side up.

Q. Favorite place to relax ?
A. Mumma's room.

Q. Favorite Pie/Mithai ?
A. Apple Pie/Besan Ladoo, Gujia

Q. Favorite Ice Cream flavor ?
A. Chocolate

FROM HERE TO THERE

2008-05-24T11:50:00.001+05:30

I was cleaning the study table today when I found this poem. I had first read it when I was in the ninth and fell in love with it instantly. Its been my source of my inspiration for so long.

Its hard to get from here to there

If you never get out of bed

You lie a lot to fool your friends

But you fool yourself instead.

Its harder to get from here to there

If you set your goals too high

Then nothing ever works out right

Too soon you no longer try.

But the hardest way from here to there is when

All you ever do is to count up the years &

miles to go

Then you're through before you're through

So how do you get from here to there

Well, first you must believe you can

Let no one tell you differently

Its your life & its in your hands.

Then turn your dreams into your goals

And see what you need now

To satisfy the requirements

The why, the where & now.

At first you're overwelhmed of course

There's so much you don't know

But keep your faith be strong & sure

For you do have a way to go.

Take careful steps & take them right

Take pride in each thing done

Don't look to far ahead of yourself

Just that next step to come.

Before you know it you'll be there

Your dream will then be real

And you'll be standing where I am now

Telling others how good it feels.

You'll tell them not to quit

Have faith, though its hard to bear

So, they will know it can be done

They, too, can get from here to there.

MY FAVOURITE TREE IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD!

2008-05-19T19:44:00.000+05:30

Driving through a rain swept Delhi, I realised how over the years I've fallen in love with the Golden Shower.

I remember Mumma teaching me the name of the tree. We used to live in 28 then and the lanes used to be lined with Golden Shower trees. I used to love just staring at them for hours at an end. It's amazing how in full bloom there there isn't a single leaf on the tree!

The rain brought all of this back today. Every roundabout had a bunch of wet Golden Showers. The roads were lined with yellow flowers.

The whole ride back seemed surreal to me. Maybe its the lack of sleep....

How wrong we were about these people..

2008-05-01T11:01:00.000+05:30

It's amazing how a 20 minute conversation brings so many things into perspective. Thanks Pooja :)

I've spent 14 years in school in 4 different sections. A majority of those years I've managed to stay with the same group of people, studied with them, screamed at them, shed tears and shared grunts ( go saumya!).

I've also managed to hold on to grudges for ( as Pooja was very kind to remind me) 8 freaking years! Its come to the point where none of us even remember what the original fight was about.
Yet, I don't speak to them even though the number of mutual friends increase day by day.

Yes, all of us have changed. We're not 12 anymore. I think it's finally time to let go.. to finally grow up *shudder*

Maybe this IS the passage of right we all need to go through before we turn 20.
So here's to new beginnings!

WHAT EXAMS DO TO ME..

2008-04-24T21:28:00.000+05:30

I hug her but she doesn't seem to hug back.

I stare at the Act and my brain doesn't seem to react.

I switch on the TV and my head hurts.

ME= Confused and bloated :(

I am thinking of..

2008-04-15T23:42:00.000+05:30

How the exams have a tendency to bring my blog to a standstill.

How 3.30 am is a excellent time to study.

How I 've watched Legally Blonde II thrice in the last two weeks. All for the love of DC!

The Brilliance that is Pyaasa.

How sour and bitter is an excellent combination.

Jhumpa Lahiri and her nex book :)

2008-03-28T22:33:00.000+05:30

Eight things I'm passionate about:
Tennis
Country Music
Autobiographies
Clothes
Movies
Debating
Accounts/Tax
Schedules

Eight things I want to do before I die:
Work at the UN
Stay in Washington DC
Work full time for an NGO
Attend all Grand Slam finals and an NBA final in the same year
Raise a girl
Be part of a REALLY big family
Own a swimming pool
Attend weddings of all my best friends from school and college

Eight things I say often:
Theek hai
Essentially
Hanji
What what what?
No!
Yay!
Pretty
There's a seinfeld episode...

Eight books I've read recently:
Grace & Power
No Onions nor Garlic
Swimming Lessons & Other Short Stories
Charlie Wilson's war
Forever & Always
Aparajito
Rumi's Daughter
Whispers in the Mountains

Eight songs I could listen to forever and ever:
Travelling Soldier- Dixie Chicks
Austin- Blake Shelton
My Best Friend- Tim McGraw/Don Williams
Blue- Leanne Rimes
Stay- Sugarland
Whiskey Lullaby- Brad Paisly
Letter to me- Brad Paisly
I'd Lie- Taylor Swift

Eight things that attract me to my best friends:
Best hugs ever!
The ability to leave certain things unsaid
That sometimes its ok to cry/be cranky for no apparent reason
We love our mothers but still cant understand them
Nobody understands what the "boy" is thinking/feeling
That its ok to sometimes crave some action
That ALL our lives would be much simpler as Soap Operas
To not be ashamed after crying/shouting session

ANOTHER FAREWELL....

2008-03-16T16:22:00.000+05:30

It seems to be the season of farewells for me. This one is for Natasha, my favourite Debating senior ever!!

I've been wanting to write this blog post to save for posterity the brilliant times we had and how much I will miss Natasha next year :(

It's so strange that it took us only two debates to get to know each other so well. It's even weirder that there will be no Natasha from next year.... I will never find her sitting under the tree outside the basement, never see her with another fat book on the second floor corridors and never hear her sarcastic remarks about the opposing teams..

So here's to you Natasha. DPM/DLOP. crazy. the best girlfriend.fellow moto user. one third of JMC A. fellow RLA/kinshuk basher. best hair. economics freak. theory of comparative advantage/learning curve. mushy love songs. non veg freak. Dwarka resident. warm hugs. Big Chill-Valentine's Day.amazing saris. fake nose studs. international economic policy at Warwick. relentless underlining.half plate Bhelpuri lover.lovely earrings. rebuttals/constructive. POI revenge taker.AFSPA/"My Father's in the Army"retort. Ayn Rand/Shantaram. purple push up secrets. paranthas & achhar. practise in 3rd?. Amphitheatre. kickass conventional debater. thrashing. Venky.almost KMC.IIT.clear.close. relationship guide. .ccd. tantra. sleeveless. deep necks ;).ardent NHRC supporter.pretty in pink. pretty in everything."this house will fall without you/will never find a replacement". wider smiles and even more tears.

A Fond Farewell

2008-02-18T23:17:00.000+05:30

I will never forget the first time my eyes faltered, it was one of those annual trips to the clinic in school. I will also never forget how much mumma and I cried, she had lost out to the genes :)

Since that day in class 4 I've had my specs with me through thick and thin. I've been through 6 different frames , dozen odd pair of lenses, a billion eye tests.... And now that I can finally see unaided I realise how much they meant to me.

They were a part of my identity. Now if I meet someone new they would never know that I wore specs for 10 years. I am not part of that community any more!

I still search for my glasses in the morning, squint to see the watch when I get up, poke at the mose to push the glasses up..but they're not there anymore..

I cant believe I was so emotionally attached to those two pieces of glass. But I still pray that everything remains ok and that my eyes heal properly. As much as I miss the glasses I dont want them back really soon..

Of friends and some more..

2008-02-18T23:00:00.000+05:30

Do friendships have an expiry date? Can you ever stop being friends with some one you've known forever? Or can you ever stop and stay at being "just friends"?

I've learnt a lot from friends, especially over the last few years. So many of these people I dont talk to anymore. There haven't been any fights or betrayals just silent withdrawls.

Should I be feeling a sense of obligation towards them? Should I be making an effort or should I just say a mental thank you and move on. Staying forcibly in these relations that have once been can ruin all the beautiful memories I plan to cherish.

I'm reminded of the Seinfeld episode where Jerry tries to end his friendship with Joel. He was only friends with him beacause of the ping pong table :)

Can you actually break up with friends?

Books..

2008-01-26T12:10:00.000+05:30

I cant believe I haven't made this list as yet. I fear its almost going to be the same as yours Pooja!

A Book that made you laugh:

No Onions nor Garlic by Srividya Natarajan. A mere mention of this book puts a smile on my face. Imagine college boys dressed up as fairies! The added bonus being the Tam Brahms who like me are onion haters!!

A Book that made you cry :

The first book I ever cried on was Heidi. I have a tendency to get very emotional while reading. So there are plenty of books whose pages I have ruined because of my tears.

Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri. The last few pages always bring tears to my eyes when Gogol discovers the inscription his dad had made so many years ago.

A Fine Balance / Tales From FirozshaBagh by Rohinton Mistry:

Mistry's book always make me very emotional. Its hard not to cry because he writes such real stories. When M commits suicide in a Fine Balance I couldn't control myself. His characters are not heroes , they are normal people who cave into desires and are not always right.

A Book that scared you :

Wild Swans/ Mao: An Unknown Story by Jung Chang. It just showed how men can go to any extreme to get and retain power. To read the about the predicament of those millions of Chinese really freaked me out. Mao's ideas to me are just really scary. Someone like that actually existed is still hard for me to believe.

A Book that disgusted you :

Probably Pet Cemetery by Stephen King. People dying and returning back as zombies just didn't go down to well with me. I had nightmares for three consecutive nights after I finished the book.

A Book you loved in elementary school:

Till class V it was the amazing Ladybird series with the Town Mouse & Country Mouse, The Princess and the Pea, Heidi etc.

A book you loved in Middle School:

The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck was my favorite from 6th to 8th. The writing is simple and yet the story was so powerful. It was one of the first books my mother passed on to me from her huge collection and it is one that I will treasure forever.

A Book you loved in High School:

Not Without My Daughter- Betty Mahmoody
A Fine Balance- Rohinton Mistry
Aparajito- Bhibhutibhushan Bhandopadya
Through the Corridors of Power- PC Alexander

A Book you loved in college:

A Thousand Splendid Suns: Khalid Hosseini
Half of a Yellow Sun

A Book that challenged your identity:

Half of a Yellow Sun
I Dare- Kiran Bedi
Little Women

A Series that you love:

Malory Towers- Enid Blyton
Harry Potter

Your favorite Horror Book:

None

Your favorite Science Fiction:

A Journey to the Centre of the Earth- Jules Verne

Your favorite (Auto)Biography:

A Long Walk to Freedom- Nelson Mandela
Mao: An Unknown Story
Not Without My Bike: Lance Armstrong

Your favorite " Coming of Age Book"

Pather Panchali
The KiteRunner
Thorn Birds

Your favorite Classic:

Gone With the Wind
Anna Karenina

Your favorite Romance Book:

Thorn Birds

And the award goes to..

2008-01-03T13:32:00.000+05:30

Being the movie buff that I am, I've still just managed only one movie review the entire of last year. To make up and pay tribute to all the brilliant movies made last year I decided to fill out the Filmfare nomination form. I've grumbled too much about bad and partial judging so I have decided to take matters into my own hand.

The form allows only one nomination and I've realised how tough it it to pick just one person considering how many of these people were so good! I'd rather they let us pick like three nominees in each category and rank them.

But anyways, here goes:

1. BEST FILM:

Ok so this is really tough! Mumma and I discussed this one to no end. What exactly are we supposed to be judging on. Entertainment value? Overall message? Acting? Novelty?

We ended up with Guru, Chak De or Taare Zameen Par.

And then we thought and thought...

And eventually gave it to Taare Zameen Par. I think the shere brilliance of the idea will make it one of the most loved movies of the year. From the acting to the camera work it was all PERFECT! There aren't words for what the film can make anyone feel. It is the cliched underdog story but told with such difference that it can tug at any one's heart. I haven't cried this hard in a movie for a very long time.

2. BEST DIRECTOR:

The problem I think with nominations is that we tend to forget the films that were released earlier during the year. Thankfully the form had an entire list of films which just made the job easier.

I would have almost written Aamir Khan for Tarre Zameen Par but then I saw Parzania on the list as well.

Thus, I chose Rahul Dholakia for Best Director. I doubt a lot of people are going to vote for this one but I think he truly deserves it. There have been a billion movies on riots and related violence some of them have been really really good as well.

To use the same subject and make a movie like that deserves a HUGE round of applause. The simple style of direction makes the characters very easy to relate to. To extract such heart wrenching performances from children is an art that both Rahul ( or even Aamir) have mastered.

Its a story that needed to be told in just the right way. There's even more responsibility on the director's shoulder because these are real events that he is talking of. Rahul manages to create the right balance between fact and fiction. This balance is very important o achieve or else the movie can become one of the million documentaries on the Gujrat riots. A slight bit of over dramatization of events could have killed it.

3. BEST ACTOR:

Abhishek Bachchan for Guru.

It was almost a coming of age movie for him. All the great performances before this one were supporting roles. It was a great chance to show the powerhouse of an actor that he can be.

What swung it in his favor was probably the fact that the character demanded a range of emotions. It was a journey of over 50 years and the change in emotions had to be gradual but also noticeable.

I think this had been his best performance till date!

4. BEST ACTRESS:

Sarika for Parzania.

There are no words befitting this performance. Emotional but not over the top. Gut wrenching and yet slightly understated. It was a role that many would have done by just shedding copious amount of tears. But she makes you look beyond just the tears which I believe deserves a LOT of recognition.

5. BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR:

Aamir Khan for Taare Zameen Par.

I've always felt that when judging the award the main thing to be kept in mind is that the actor in question should not steel the limelight. For example in Omkara Saif stole the show so much so that it became his movie and not Ajay Devgan's on the other hand Pankaj Kapur in Maqbool played a pivotal role but stole nothing away from Irfan Khan's brilliance.

The latter is what Aamir was also successful in doing. He deserves it even more cause he could have easily over shadowed the kid. This performance shows his great understanding of the script. The script demanded a supporting role and that he did to perfection.

6. BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS:

Konkana Sen Sharma for Aaja Nachle/ Laaga Chunari Mein Daag/Life in a Metro:

I cant seem to choose the film because she was great in all three. She's funny and emotional and her acting is straight from the heart. Its been her year and I cant wait to see what she does in 2008.

She's one of those actresses that seem to fit into every mould so effortlessly. No matter how bad or good the movie might be she never manages to disappoint me.

GOD BLESS HER SOUL

2007-12-28T20:55:00.000+05:30

One hand
Reaches out
And pulls a lost soul from harm
While a thousand more go unspoken for
They say what good have you done
By saving just this one
It's like whispering a prayer
In the fury of a storm

And I hear them saying you'll never change things
And no matter what you do it's still the same thing
But it's not the world that I am changing
I do this so this world will know
That it will not change me

This heart Still believes
The love and mercy still exist
While all the hatred rage and so many say
That love is all but pointless in madness such as this
It's like trying to stop a fire
With the moisture from a kiss

And I hear them saying you'll never change things
And no matter what you do it's still the same thing
But it's not the world that I am changing
I do this so this world will know
That it will not change me

As long as one heart still holds on
Then hope is never really gone.

- Garth Brooks

Does she have the right to?

2007-12-10T22:22:00.000+05:30

I heard Sn's story about a year back. Almost the same time that Udit had passed away. It was the same ailment and thus, I prayed for her. I prayed that she survived through all the chemo, through all the pain, through all the loss.

I will never forget Udit's cremation. It's absolutely heart wrenching too see grandparents standing next to their grand son's funeral pyre. Those images are buried deep inside me and every time I think of that day I cant help but weep. Sometimes it all seems so unreal. It was just yesterday when we'd discussed aishwarya rai at deepali mami's place or talked about what a pain the boards were. And now he's no more but a fading memory...
I know his parents will never recover , that they have learnt to live but the sadness in their eyes will never ebb.

When su told me about sn, I understood how she felt,what it is to see a friend suffer. It's been more than a year and su told me yesterday that the chemo wasn't working and that sne didn't want to continue the treatment. She's 19 years old and she's made a decision to accept death, if that's whats suppose to come her way. She' s 19 years old and I cant even begin to comprehend how she finally made up her mind. Is it all the pain? Is it seeing her friends and family suffer with her?

I've advocated Euthanasia for a very long time. But now as I see sne make the most important decision of her life an inherent sense of dread fill me up from inside. She's too young to give up, I thought. She needs to fight..she needs to have faith..I've been trying to convince myself even though I know its inevitable.

It cant be easy. I don't know how she's going to tell her parents. Will they let her go ahead..

And so I pray for a miracle. I pray that all the scans turn out right..and that sne never has to even think of ending it all.

Know me a little..

2007-11-18T21:55:00.000+05:30

List five things that you want to say to people but never will. Don't say who they are.

1. I'll never be perfect.

2. Can you stop pretending that everything is fine.

3. Why don't you admits its your mistake?

4. It's so obvious, why cant you see it?

5. I'm glad you're no longer a shadow.

Five things I’d love to do before I die.

1. Go watch all the Grand Slam finals

2. Bungee Jump

3. Adopt a child

4. Learn an instrument

5. Take a mule ride to the bottom of the Grand Canyon.

Five things I will not do even if it kills me.

1. Eat a raw onion

2. Drive over 80

3. Lie to a friend

4. Run an election

5. Live too far away from my parents.

Five things I do when I'm away from public

1. Sing

2. Make funny faces in the mirror

3. Talk to myself

4. Imagine the future and enact it

5. Check every one's profile on every possible social networking site.

Five things I'll make you wish you didn't do if you did

1. Order something with too many onions

2. Insult Federer

3. Betrayal

4. Hypocrisy

5. Being too critical of everything

The Disaster that was Diwali

2007-11-10T10:07:00.001+05:30

Q & A

2007-11-10T09:29:00.000+05:30

Q. What is your middle name?
A. Sethi

Q. How big is your bed?
A. Queen size, I think.

Q.What are you listening to right now?
A. Country

Q. What was the last thing you ate?
A. Pranthe for breakfast, a glass of milk and 5 badams.

Q. Last person you hugged?
A. Mumma

Q. How is the weather right now?
A. Slightly chilly

Q. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
A. Nilotpal

Q. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
A. Diction/Height

Q. Favorite type of Food?
A. Chinese/Kashmiri

Q. Do you want children?
A. Yes

Q. Have you ever cried over a love lost?
A. Yes

Q. Last Movie you watched?
A. Saawariya

Q. Do you have any piercings?
A. Ears and nose

Q. Favorite Movie?
A. Too many

Q. What were you doing before filling this out?
A. Changing the bed sheets

Q. Have you ever loved someone?
A. Yes

Q. Who would you like to see right now?
A. Daddy

Q. What color are your bedroom walls?
A. Green

Q. Have you ever fired a gun?
A. No

Q. Do you like to travel by plane?
A. Yes

Q. Right-handed or Left-handed?
A. Right-handed

Q. If you could go to any place right now where would you go?
A. Washington DC

Q. Are you missing someone?
A. Not particularly

Q. Do you still watch cartoons on Saturday mornings?
A. Sometimes

Q. What is the wallpaper on your cellphone?
A. A picture of the cabbies on Akriti's B'day

Q. Favorite hangout ?
A. College basement and the van

Q. 3 things you can't live without?
A. Mumma-Papa, books and the phone

Q. Favorite songs?
A. Recently discovered range of country music

Q. What are you afraid of?
A. Never finding true love

Q. Are you a giver or a taker?
A. A bit of both

Q. What are your nicknames?
A. Chubby, Ghazu, Gili

Q. What do you sleep in?
A. A range of colour coordinated nightsuits

Q. Stuck on a deserted island, and can only bring one thing?
A. Books

Q. First thing you'll save in a fire?
A. nothing

Q. What is your favorite color?
A. purple

Q. What are the things you always bring with you?
A. Cellphone, money, car keys

Q. What did you want to be when you were a kid?
A. A Vet

Q. What do you usually do when the alarm turns on?
A. Switch it off and wake up two hours later

Q. What do you think about before you go to bed?
A. The day and a mental thank you to god.

Looking back

2007-10-04T09:44:00.000+05:30

If you had to do it all over again, what would you change?

Mumma asked me this day before and it really got me thinking..

What would i change in the past (almost ) 19 years?

My first reaction to her was that I would have a thought a little bit more about my career. Maybe really introspect on what it was that I really wanted to do?

I would have picked up running as a hobby. There's something about the wind in my face that takes me to this calm,peaceful place.

And I would have eaten onions. I think this I'd still like to do. I just need to get over the repugnant smell and taste...

And that's it.Three things. That's all I could think of.

Then why is it that I 'm never satisfied. It's a good life and yet I am far from being an optimist...

SOLACE...

2007-09-20T23:12:00.001+05:30

I've been thinking about this one for a very long time. Our lives are not perfect and they cant be. There will always be problems and we will have to muster the strength to face them.

But even if we are losing the battle or cant find the strength there is always something we can find solace in. Something that will always bring us comfort. Now this source of solace is what seems to bother me cause I cant find mine...

Can anything bring you that kind of comfort? Can it be food/work/friends/......

I am looking for something/one to fall back on. Something/one that will pull me back up. Something/one that's always there.

Or is it a stupid idea to depend on this something/one so much? Will over dependence just ruin my own capacity to handle situations?

Or am I just suppose to find solace in myself...

2007-09-17T05:55:00.000+05:30

BETWEEN RIGHT AND WRONG IS A TROUBLESOME GREY AREA

Highs and Lows

2007-09-02T17:29:00.000+05:30

Low: Small time chain snatcher practically killed by a mob as the police watched on.

High: 24 yr old Abha karate chops two men eve teasing her.

Low: 6 day old baby snatched by Panchayat as the parents belonged to the same clan.

High: DMRC enters the carbon credit market

Low: A teacher in Delhi forcing her students into prostitution.

High/Low: The left opposition and how the government still survives.

I 've always been very patriotic. I love my country but the pathetic conditions around just make me sick to the stomach.

So many campaigns begin and try to make a difference and yet we reach back to square one. What is it that makes us Indians such a stubborn race, why do we fail to see the change that is beckoning us.

I can list our achievements too but the thing is that one look at our society and all the development can be thrown out of the window.

Why is it that our country is still so dirty, that foetuses are still murdered and that red lights still don't work...

As cliched as it may sound I want to make a difference, to make India a better place. Maybe it is the small things that we should start with...

But will it ever work or will I just become one of those cynical adults who complain and do nothing about anything...

The Scale

2007-08-28T23:07:00.000+05:30

The scale is what defines Librans and weighing down choices is what describes my life these days.

What is it about making choices that scares me?

Is it just me or are choices generally difficult to make?

Will I spend most of my life regretting what could have been? But choosing not to remember and feel guilty would also mean making a choice.

Why do we have to make choices? Why cant the world be straight and simple. Everybody would already know what to do, it would save so much more time.

I have a tendency to feel regret for the longest time ever and making decisions never comes naturally to me. Its making life more and more difficult cause how long can u survive without making essential decisions that define you, who you want to be? What your purpose is?

Does all of this stem from the fact that I cant stand to be wrong? Will all my wrong decisions come to haunt me?

Pessimism is attacking my brain again..

Of Happy Times and some more..

2007-07-22T15:20:00.001+05:30

It hasnt been a very happy week for me. I've spent my time moping around at home, acting irritable and stubborn all the time.

Nothing seems to cheer me up so I've decided to take matters in my own hand this time. I'm just going to think of all the happy and fun times that i remember and put them up here. So everytime i feel down and out I ll just read the post and hopefully feel much better.

So here goes...

I love the rainy season. I could spend hours just looking at how everything outside seems so fresh. I love going out right after it stops raining. My favorite thing to do is to stand under a tree and shake its branches until I get totally drenched and it almost feels like its raining again.

Thinking of my favorite books cheers me up. I still wish we could all be part of one long Enid Blyton novel and live happily ever after. I remember how all my friends and me wanted to go to Malory Towers and have one of those midnight feasts.
And how much we loved Gone With The Wind. If only Rhett wouldnt leave Scarlett....
Just to pen any of these books and reread my favorite passages over and over again can make my day...

Thinking of school makes me very happy. I can distinctly remember my first day and how I was one of the few who wernt in uniform. How we would play Four Squares under the Jamun trees and it would end being twenty squares.
It was in school that I learnt how to swim. The excitement of swimming without holding onto the rope and the fact that I was now part of a team.
My first debate and how i could feel my legs shaking on stage.
The whole Truth an Dare period in class seven and how we'd beg to get free periods to play the game.
The time we spent on the swings "wee-ing" away.

I love thinking about all the holidays I've been on. The week long holiday in Dalhousie where we'd walk all day long. All the long weekends spent in Jaipur with lots of shopping thrown in. The first time I sat in an aeroplane and felt my ears getting blocked or the very scary roller coaster in Malaysia will always bring a smile to my face.

And then I think of college and of the wonderful friends I've made. Of all the times we 've laughed for hours on stupid jokes and the enjoyed all the junk food in the canteen.
I love to think about all the places we've already been to and all the haggling with the autos..

THe list is longer but I'll probably survive on all this atleast for another week.

Q&A

2007-07-01T20:27:00.000+05:30

Q. Do you like your name and know its origin?
A. I love my name and its actually persian origin

Q. If given a choice sex or food???
A.Unless it's Chinese/home cooked I ' ll probably choose the former.

Q. Do you love your siblings/cousins??
A. No not yet

Q. Do youu believe in angels?
A. Yes

Q. Whats the one thing that brings a twinkle to your eye??
A. My parents laughter, memories of school days, seeing a close friend's name on the cell.

Q. When was the last time, you did something meaningful for someone else?
A. Yesterday

Q. What are you listening to right now??
A. Worldspace

Q. Will you go to heaven or hell???
A. Heaven!

Q. Favourite time of the day?
A. 7 - 8 pm

Of First Year I will Always Remember...

2007-07-01T07:46:00.001+05:30

Tears

DTC-392/323

Aaloo Chaat

Dilli Haat

Saket

Basement

Van

Freshers

Khan Market!

NSS

Library

Kareena Market

Lost cellphones and wallets

Chocolate

India Gate

Sunny winter morings

Its Been A While

2007-07-01T07:27:00.000+05:30

Its been such a long time since the last post or as Pooja would put it, " the blog's been dead for a while".

A 3 week long vacation along with bouts of laziness has led me to almost give up one of my favourite activities!

But I ll get back to writing soon enough!

2007-05-18T19:19:00.000+05:30

You know it's over when your best friend cant recognize your voice anymore.

I need...

2007-04-28T20:34:00.000+05:30

a) A friend who doesn't have exams when I do

b) A friend who doesnt live an STD phone call away

c) A friend who sees a movie every weekend

d) A friend who thinks driving is a pain and not a relaxant

e) A friend who loves Seinfeld

f) A friend who worships Federer ( or atleast hates Nadal)

g) A friend who thinks swimming will be incomplete without Thorpe

h) A friend who enjoys Sarcasm

i) me??

It is too much to ask for, isnt it?

Lead Kindly Light

2007-04-27T13:56:00.000+05:30

Lead, kindly Light, amid th’encircling gloom, lead Thou me on!
The night is dark, and I am far from home; lead Thou me on!
Keep Thou my feet; I do not ask to see
The distant scene; one step enough for me.

I was not ever thus, nor prayed that Thou shouldst lead me on;
I loved to choose and see my path; but now lead Thou me on!
I loved the garish day, and, spite of fears,Pride ruled my will. Remember not past years!

So long Thy power hath blest me, sure it still will lead me on.
O’er moor and fen, o’er crag and torrent, till the night is gone,
And with the morn those angel faces smile, which IHave loved long since, and lost awhile!
Meantime, along the narrow rugged path, Thyself hast trod,Lead, Savior, l
ead me home in childlike faith, home to my God.
To rest forever after earthly strife
In the calm light of everlasting life.

- Cardinal Newman

And the book came alive....

2007-03-23T20:20:00.000+05:30

I love to read and " The Namesake" by Jhumpa Lahiri is one of my all time favorites.

So, naturally i was exteremely excited about seeing this beautiful book translated onto screen and for the Ganguli's world to come alive.

It turned out to be a fabulous movie!

The author must be really proud of Mira Nair because she was able to retain the essence of the book. It must be a very tough task to turn a book into a movie. Every word is important and then to choose and show the right scenes, establish links and also try to touch the hearts of the audience.

What i loved even more about the movie was the use of Bengali. I have seen endless movies where the gujrati or the begali just talk in english making there characters a tade bit artificial. The use of Bengali made the film very real and easy to relate to.

I recently read a blog entry about how it is the little lies that hurt celebreties and not the huge controversies. A similar analogy can be drawn here.
For an avid fan of the book it is the lack of attention to the smaller details of the book that pinch slightly.

It did disturb me that Ashima Ganguli ( played by Tabu) didnt wear a Parrot green sari when she meets Ashok for the first time( It's purple in the movie) or that Ashok Ganguli's shoes are black and white and not brown as in the book.

That Gogol decides to go to Yale first and then makes a decision about being an architect ( it obviously was vice versa in the book) was just weird.

What I didnt like most was the character of Moushmi and the omission of most of Gogol's part in the book. For me it was as much Gogol's story as it was Ashima's ....

What is strange is when people claim that the movie was better than the book!

If you ask me a movie can never be better than the book. All those who think otherwise are just pretending to have read the book...

The following is the quote the book starts with. I would have loved it if they had used it in the film too.

"The reader should realize himself that it could not have happened otherwise,
and that to give him any other name was quite out of the question. "

- Nikoloi Gogol, "The Overcoat"

I am Thinking of....

2007-03-22T18:54:00.000+05:30

a) Section 2(1)(zc) of The Information Technology Act,2000

b) How good "Namesake" the movie is going to be

c) The song Paint it Black and how it describes my mood

d) Who will win American Idol this year

e) What's mum cooking for dinner

f) How badly I am going to flunk the Computer Practical

g) How i would love to meet Gandhi

h) The freaky weather

i) Driving a car

The Departed

2007-03-15T15:33:00.000+05:30

A dreary thursday morning,
A fantastic report card
A Board exam
Mere oblivion
A phone call from hell
and then the wait
A pit in the stomach
A teary eye
Three shattered kids
A destroyed home
The horrible journey
A whirlpool of memories
of days gone by,
of happiness that was once ours
The haunting dreams
of lonely days
The scary future
The uncertainity
Yet
There will be another morning
a hint of a smile
Till then we mourn
The departed

2007-03-05T19:24:00.000+05:30

YOU CAN ONLY WAKE UP SOMEONE WHO IS SLEEPING,

NOT ONE WHO IS PRETENDING TO!

2007-03-04T13:48:00.000+05:30

I SPEND MY TIME LOOKING FORWARD TO THE PAST

VISA POWER, DONT "GO GET IT"

2007-02-26T00:18:00.001+05:30

This post is with reference to excruciating process of getting a visa to travel to the US of A
We have planned a trip for this summer and decided to start the application procedure early enough.

What is surprising is the amount of paperwork that is needed along with the application.Some of the details are just ridiculously funny and to top it all the application states " Please note that a visa in no way ensures that you will be granted entry into the country. The officer at the Immigration Counter will decide at your time of entry whether you should be allowed to travel or not"

So technically you can land up and be told to go back!

After getting copies of evrything from tax returns to appointment letters to property ownerships deeds, we finally landed up at the American Embassy in Chanakyapuri.

Your forms are first screened while you are standing in the line outside the embassy. Then one has to go to another counter for "questioning". In our case the man behind the screen decided that I no longer look like the photograph I have submitted. After convincing him we proceed to enter the embassy(FINALLY!).

Then, you have to submit your fingerprints. If for some strange reason one of your index numbers is injured you cant give the interview.

The irony here is that the lady at this counter actually liked my application photo.

After all of this you have to stand in this huge serpentine line to get interviewed. The couples with kid are given priority but not the really old couples. It was really sad to see all these aged people stand for hours to get a visa.

While standing in the line you can look around to find posters of "America's Most Wanted Terrorists" and "Top Ten Fugitives" and also a plasma T.V that shows you the major attractions of the country( "its going to be worth it")

Now, the people at the embassy can be divided easily into four categories:

a) Innocent tourists like us who just want to go and see the country

b) Newly wed brides desperate to join their husbands

c) IIT/IIM pass outs going as tourists in search of lucrative deals

d) Old uncles and aunties who are going either for weddings or to meet their children

Give Indians a que and the comaradrie will develop on its own. As the hours pass by the conversation flows.

Our appointment was at 11:15 a.m but our chance came at quarter to three(phew!)

It lasted for exaclty fve minutes at the end of which we were told to enjoy the trip.But there were also people who were intimidated and were crying at the end of their interviews.

Our passports have now arrived (with the visa stamp) but I hope i never have to do this again, I'd rather go to another country!

A WEEKEND NOT TO REMEMBER

2007-02-25T23:53:00.000+05:30

Normally the thought of the weekend bring huge amount of solace to my mind but this last weekend has been nothing short of a disaster .

FRIDAY:

Out of the three days this was the best! Even though it was a holiday (courtesy mass bunk from college) I had to get up at 7(courtesy my mum's school bus).

It wasnt much of a day. I practically did NOTHING the entire day.

SATURDAY:

Started of as a nice ,bright ,sunny morning. I had a great lunch (oredered in from Subway).

I am a HUGE movie buff( movie ever weekend is included in my staple diet). Thus, my parents and I decide to go and see " The Departed"(Dont ask me why I havent seen it as yet!) at the Pacific Mall, Kaushambi.

As a result I had to give up my afternoon nap(also on my staple diet) to go and see the movie. We reach there well in time for the show.

I still havent seen the movie because apparently the newspapers had the schedule wrong!

The movie hall is having an Oscar festival and they show one nominated movie a day and Departed was on Friday(Damn!)

Cresstfallen my parents decide to explore the mall. Apart from being movie freaks we are also shopping addicts.

And the journey begins from one store to another till we decide that we have exercised enough to reward ourselves with some food. This brings us to this massive food court in the mall.

After dinner the shopping expedition begins and finally ends when all the stores start to display their"closed" signs.

With great satisfaction we returned home to find out that one of our shopping packets/treasures was missing!

I still havent figured out where that packet went.

SUNDAY

Mum & Dad decide to finally see Blood Diamond and after confirming the show land up at Wave for the 11 a.m show.

God wasnt on our side as the projector refuses to work leaving my parents crestfallen yet again.

Thus, they are offered seats for "Flags of oour Father" and a refund. Even though my dad is a huge Clint Eastwood fan, you really cant enjoy a movie if you miss the beginning.

The prospect of a wedding reception at IIC brightened our evening and all of us got ready to enjoy the free food!

We're half way to the venue when my Dad realises that he had left the wedding gift on the stairs outside our flat ( at which point i am thinkingg of my Blog post titile)

And, the groom was thus given only flowers.

But as a consolation the food turned out to be quite good.

2007-02-24T23:23:00.000+05:30

THE PAST IS THE PROLOGUE

HURT..I'M Ok

2007-02-24T23:15:00.000+05:30

Ha ha! fooled you this post is NOT about what I am feeling right now.

This one is for all Christina Aguilera fans. The post's title is made up from the names of two of her songs.

Now a lot of artisits write about their traumatic childhood experiences, what i havent seen is a change in opinion.
But if you notice the lyrics of the two songs that follow, there has been a drastic change of opinion!

She goes from blaming her father for all the pain and then ends up saying sorry for treating him that way.

HURT ( this is from the new album "Back to Basics")

I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you
If I had just one more day
I would tell you how much that I've missed you
Since you've been awayOoh, it's dangerousIt's so out of line
To try and turn back time

Now the next song is I'm Ok ( this is from the previous album "Stripped")

Bruises fade father, but the pain remains the same
And I still remember how you kept me so afraid
Strength is my mother for all the love she gave
Every morning that I wake I look back to yesterday
And I'm OK

I wonder what brought about the drastic change .

I LOST SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT!!!!

2007-01-17T13:59:00.000+05:30

As my first year in college slowly draws to an end( only two more months to go), I have realised that i have lost something very important....

I have always had people in my life who didnt like me or couldnt stand me and I really didnt care about them

Then i came to college....

For the first time in my life everybody seemed to like me ( probably because they havent been exposed to my mean temper). The feeling gave me such a high. I was the favoured one in all my friend circles.

But i reacted very differently to this situation. Throughout school life i was very forthright about what i felt was correct and what wasnt. In college when you are liked by all it becomes very difficult to actually disagree with anyone. I mean the thought of getting my point across to somebody would mean hours of pondering.

It was as if i just couldnt be firm anymore . I would feel that one disagreement and nobody would like me anymore, my real side would be exposed.

Now i have realised the importance of having your opinion. I dont want to lose it. What i just need to learn is to calmly get my point across..after all they are my friends...

ME!!

2006-12-28T13:50:00.000+05:30

I am going to write about myself. This is something i have been wanting to do this for a very long time. Its amazing, the power of the written word. I have this strange idea that writing about myself will bring a greater level of self acceptance.

So here goes...

My name is ghazal. I love my name, its a great conversation starter( i mentally thank my mother every single day for my name).

I am ccurrently doing B com (hons)..just started college this year. i am not a great fan of college(that i think deserves a separate post)!!

Someone once told me that i only talk about stuff around me, stuff happening but not about how i feel. I think its true so maybe writing will make me more expressive.

At points of time there is so much going in my brain its amazing!!..I am really sensitive ( not really fond of that quality). Sometimes the smallest of things can hurt me. I think it stems from the fact that i expect too much from others. Its my belief that others owe me as much as i owe them. If i do soemthing for u , u cannot forget it you have to be ther when i need u . But this doesnt mean that i help others just for them to help me.
I am also very stubborn about things i strongly believ in and dont like it when people disagree with me. it takes a mountain of an effort to change my viewpoint.

If i belive in something my passion is unwavering. i can go to any extereme to protect and defend that idea...

Thats enough for a day...

Till we meet again...